Help after Miscarriage

Paula - posted on 07/22/2011 ( 2 moms have responded )




I had a miscarriage at 9weeks at the end of June. I was handling it well for the first weeks following. Everyone including my husband was telling me that it was not ment to be and that there was probably something wrong with the pregnancy. I understand all of what there saying, but now I almost feel resentful of those comments which makes me feel selfish for feeling the way I do. It was my first miscarraige and I have my beautiful daughter. I feel almost guilty for feeling sad. Is this normal to feel this way?


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[deleted account]

I lost my first around 8 weeks. It has been 3 years and I still cry over it. I would cry everytime I saw a pregnant woman for months. It was even harder since all of my sisters were pregnant. My step mom even hid her daugher's pregnancy from me since she was due with in days of mine (I found out a few weeks after he was born).

It helped me a lot when I got pregnant with my daughter and found out that my hormones don't increase fast enough, so with her I was on progesterone until 14 weeks, with my current pregnancy I was on it until 18 weeks. I am much more at peace with my second misscarriage since I really felt like we did everything we could to save him. It still hurts like hell though.

Sometimes the rational things people tell you went you are in grief aren't helpful. Let it out and cry. You have every right to cry, be sad, and mad. A lot of people throw it out as postpartrum depression... it isn't; it's grief. Just like loosing any child. Don't let people belittle your feelings.

[deleted account]

Honestly, yes. It is normal. You are mourning your loss. It is okay to feel sad or like it is your fault that it happened. However, try to be a bit more positive in your thinking. The depression I went through after my 2nd one was really bad! And, 5 months later, I was pregnant again. I wasn't ready for it! But, she stuck it through - very tough 1st trimester, was in ER for her 3 times, and bedrest 3rd trimester. She was a fighter and still is! LOL
We got angel pins for each one we lost. And the 2nd one was the most difficult emotionally and the whole process! It got to the point where I was losing WAY too much blood! So, it was frightening! I was in a panic and had to be knocked out early, and woke up early screaming for my DH!
He bought me a necklace with fetal feetprint - that were the size of 10 wks in the womb... When we lost the second one.
I lost one at 5 wks, and 2 at 10 wks. Mine were due to medications I take. Was on the pill to prevent (never worked! All 6 pregnancies were on the pill!). So, I know mine was due to meds - and they create heart defects...
I thought I'd go ahead and share my story with you.
Also, I was mad at pregnant ladies I saw after losing a baby. I have baby nieces/nephews and playing with them helps out a lot!!! It takes time to heal. When you are ready, try again!

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