Help! Custody of son taken, can i claim on taxes?

Alesha - posted on 09/20/2015 ( 2 moms have responded )




Hi there moms! My son will be 6yrs old Dec 7th. The first week of November (2015) would have been two years since his father saw him; I moved from Iowa to SC March 28 2014. I asked my mother (whom resides in AZ) to take my children for me(not legally) until December, as I needed help. I started my job a month after I moved to SC, and had to resign on April 19th(2015) after 11.5 months working there as I couldn't afford daycare, and couldn't get help with state funded because they wanted me to take classes from 730am-230 pm M-F for 3 weeks and I couldn't. I dropped my 7year old daughter off at school @730, dropped my son off @his child development center(I missed the 4year old prek testing so couldn't get him into preschool), picked him up at 2pm, and picked my daughter up from school @230. They wouldn't help, which caused my resignation.. I'm a waitress, as its hard to find after hour babysitting. My bf tried helping out and it got to be too much, car broke down and couldn't fix it. I wanted the help so I could get my job back, get my car fixed, and get back into college to be able to financially support my children again. The plan was to bring them back on Christmas. They went down there the end on July, started school Aug 5th in AZ. I got my job back 2 weeks after they left, and am still there with intentions to stay while I get into school etc. 2 weeks ago, my sons father drove from Iowa to AZ with a court order to my parents house, stating he was granted full and sole custody of my son by default, and that I cant claim him on my income taxes. He threatened my mom w/contempt of court jail time if she didn't turn my son over, and said if I try to interfere ill go to jail and be facing 20years in prison for kidnapping(my own son lol). I didn't fly to AZ for that reason, I was advised to get an attorney, which I have a phone conference with on Sept 28th. The court order states that I cannot claim him on my taxes. I had him almost months, my mom had him for a month and a half(a paid a little support to them for my children in the meantime as I was trying to save.)
Here's where things get interesting. On April 26th 2008, I got married to my DAUGHTERS father when she was 16 days old. We separated (not via court or anything... Just went our separate ways and idk where he even is right now) and in the meantime I got pregnant with my son. My sons father is not on his birth certificate, neither is my "husband". I have never disestablished my husbands paternity to show that he was not my sons father, therefore I have never established my sons "biological" fathers paternity for any proof that he is indeed my sons father. He contacted me once early spring (via Facebook msg) and asked for my address, I gave him the po box In SC, so he knew I was not in Iowa where he filed the affidavit and published ads, that I obviously never saw, which is why he won by default. I have no contact, he wont even let my son call me, but he still talks to my daughter on the phone(if I call him he said he'll change his # and not allow my son and daughter to talk anymore 😢 So I bit my tongue, cuz it's crucial.that they continue their bond, they've been together their whole lives. I contacted his attorney last week and explained to her she gave rights to a child to someone who never had ANY to begin with , and everything that I've previously stated. She said "oh my god..." When I told her I was legally.married. I've had MANY people give me legal advice about this situation, and was informed that he "technically" kidnapped my son ny providing false and incomplete information to the attorney and judge. I WILL get him back I just have to bust my butt 10x harder. This all being said, can I still claim him on my taxes? His father took him on Sept 5th , that leaves him with 4 months of custody out of the year. IF I don't happen to get him back by then. Anyone dare to take? I thought about calling the IRS on Monday to ask them, that's my only day off, so I thought id try on here first, this is my first time on this site!! 😁


♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 09/20/2015




If he's got a court order saying you cannot, then you cannot. This situation is more convoluted than you're presenting, and I really don't need all the details. You didn't show for a court hearing, which is how your ex got custody of his son.
Your failure to establish paternity initially isn't helping you in this, either.
Your attorney needs to be communicating with his, not you communicating with his attorney. Oh, and the ATTORNEY wasn't the one who granted custody, it was a judge, so don't blame the attorney for 'taking your child'.
Make sure you and your attorney are on the same page, and then let your attorney do his job.


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Dove - posted on 09/20/2015




Sounds like a mess.. Not sure how any judge is going to give custody of a child to any random man w/out a paternity test. And how did he get custody by default unless you were contacted about a court hearing and you just never showed?

Sounds like your lawyer needs to get in contact w/ the judge who made this ruling and find out exactly what happened. You have a lot more to deal w/ than whether or not you can claim him on your taxes. If the father currently has a legal custody order stating that you can not... then you can not until the order is changed... but this order makes no sense w/ everything else you are saying. Do you HAVE a copy of this custody order?

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