Help! Dependent. Separation anxiety. Not sleeping (EVER) at 11 months.

User - posted on 07/28/2014 ( 1 mom has responded )




Help. My 11 month old son has never slept through a night. I don't live around any family that is in his life other than my husband, 6 year old son and myself. He seems to be extremely dependent on me for his entertainment. I feel like everytime i turn around he is up my butt! Even the neighbor girls will try and play with him, but all he wants is for me to hold him and put ALL attention towards him. He is always throwing fits when i tell him no or take away what he cant have. He throws his body back if i have grabbed him and attempt to take him away from whatever it is. This child has some serious vocal cords. He will scream rather than cry. He is not the independent player at all! Ever since he was born he would get up every two hours. For the past few nights he will cry for hours in the middle of the night. I will give him gas drops, teething tablets, tylenol, change his diaper, bottle, I pace the room back and forth bouncing him to sleep. I get him to sleep- and bam! a few minutes later he screams. eventually I just let him scream it out after I have tried everything. It can last a good while. Sometimes 30 min to an hour. Help. I am at ends with him. My first son was such the perfect baby. and now I feel like I have the worst child of all times and I feel like I have raised them the same. I wonder- If I have someone watch him- how will they handle it?? I am his mom and can hardly handle it. I hate to feel a separation lately with him. It makes me sad., He deserves all my love. But I just cant stand the crying and fits lately. Things are feeling out of control. When I was pregnant with him I was EXTREMELY stressed out. He was active in the belly as well. Hes been walking since 9 months. and is SUPER busy out of the belly. I feel like all the stress is the reason I have had such difficulty the past 11 months. I have always had to pace the room bouncing him and turning in circles to sooth him to sleep. Sometimes I get lucky and usually naps he goes down pretty good. He doesnt take a pacifier. I hate feeling like I am failing.... Should I be worried? Is this normal?


Ev - posted on 07/28/2014




It sounds like to me that you have had such high expectations that your child would be like the older one: Perfect and easy. Did no one ever tell you that no two kids are alike at all? Each one is unique and that includes how they are as babies. By placing such high expectations on this one to be just like the first one, you have let yourself in for such disappointment. You have taken the experience and made it stressful. This baby seems to need more of you than the other one did. At barely one, this child still needs you to meet his needs. He can not express his needs to you except through crying or screaming. No amount of giving him medicines he really has no need for is going to make him quit the crying. NO amount of taking things away is going to make him less needy. No amount of anything you have done is going to make this situation better. You need to step back and let someone else come in and help you. Talk to your husband and see if he can not give you a break. I really think that counseling is needed as well. You have places so high expectations on things to be perfect you forgot that it does not always work this way.

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