HELP! dont know what to do.....

Aimee - posted on 08/01/2012 ( 6 moms have responded )

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My daughter had bites all over her when she came back from her fathers house not once but twice! He lives with his girlfriend in her grandmothers house and of course wont allow me in there to check it out.. Anyway that I can get someone to check out their house? I am really debating about calling DCF to see what they can do!

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Elizabeth - posted on 08/01/2012

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Hmmmm, well bug bites are a little more tricky. She could have easily gotten them while playing in a certain area of the yard. At my aunts house, I used to love to roll down the hill when I was a kid. And I would get all bitten up by red ants. But I would do it again the next time because it was fun! However, if the bites are from insects that could indicate a poor living environment, then I would go back to the lawyer suggestion. If your daughter is old enough, try asking her what she did at her fathers. If she was rolling in the grass or playing in long grass, it is likely nothing. But I would be concerned that your ex wont let you inside the house. As a mother, you deserve to know your child is in a safe place. I would check with a lawyer to see what you can legally do about that.

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Dove - posted on 08/01/2012

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My son has woken up from the random night of sleep COVERED in bites. We co-sleep and I've never had a single one.... It's happened to him probably half a dozen times over the past 4 years and never once when it has happened have I had a single one... and I've never figured out what the cause of it was.

Are you looking for trouble with her father? Bug bites happen sometimes. Now.... if every single time she goes over there she returns covered in bites it may be worth trying to look into, but really? Why don't you try working with the man instead of automatically becoming suspicious and causing more harm than good?

Elizabeth - posted on 08/01/2012

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Definitely sounds like the bites of a bed bug then... I worked in a hotel for many years, and am all too familiar with bed bugs. Just one can lead to an infestation, and they stay hidden during the day, so they are hard to spot. But many mattresses that are stored outside or in garages or attics become infested. Even for you to go in and take a look, it would be almost impossible to spot them. Most people don't even know until they get the bites. Unfortunately, asking to inspect the cleanliness of someones home is very difficult. If you know the grandmother who owns the home, it may be worth talking to her. But if she will automatically side with her granddaughter, its pointless. The best thing to do would be to call a lawyer, as they could tell you what you can and cant look into. Or call child services. But you are certainly not in the wrong for being suspicious.

Aimee - posted on 08/01/2012

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thank you i did ask her what she did there and she is 5 so she doesnt tell me everything but she told me the spent most of the day in the bedroom that all 3 of them share and watched movies in bed.. their waterbed just recently popped and i asked if they fixed it or got a new bed and she told me they got a mattress out of the garage....

Aimee - posted on 08/01/2012

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sorry should have been a lil more clear they are bug bites of some sort but she had a total of 22 of them on her body...



i brought her to the doctor who told me it could be bed bug bites but they are denying they have em and she has been home for a week and hasnt gotten anymore so i know its not from my house

Elizabeth - posted on 08/01/2012

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Call a lawyer. But first be sure that the bites were not caused by your daughter herself. I used to enjoy biting and sucking my arms and knees when I was young (I do not know why). If they are adult sized (which is fairly easy to tell if she is young) then I would call the police. Or a lawyer. The police may not be able to help you if there is no evidence, or they may just give your ex a warning. But a lawyer can do wonderful things. They know the system very well, and would know who you should call. Besides, if she is your daughter and you have evidence (bite marks) to show that he or his friends/girlfriend are causing her harm in any way, they cannot prevent you from ensuring your child is safe in their presence, especially when you have good reason to believe she is not. My best advice would be to call a lawyer.

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