HELP!! Ex mother in law problems!!

Bianca - posted on 09/14/2014 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My ex boyfriend and I were together for 4 years. We ended but we stood in contact for our daughter. He has lived in other places, and rarely saw his daughter. He doesnt call to see if shes OK, he didn't call on her first day of Pre-K, and he can be just 2 minutes away and wont bother to see her for atleast 2 minutes. He has moved in with his mom and since then has threatened me that he wants joint custody. I completely disagree with this because hes not there for my daughter at all, and he sells cocaine. When i found out, I stopped letting her go over there and since then has threatened for joint custody saying his mom has money and they hired a lawyer. He doesnt even want the custody, its his mom. She has told him since we are not together that it is not his responsibility to help care for his daughter, that that's a mothers job. She has criticized me for taking my daughter out of a school because they wanted her to stay with them 4 nights out the week and I didn't like that, as a mom I enjoy picking my daughter up from school, and doing homework with her, and dropping her off. That school was inconvenient for me, it was a 20 minute walk from the bus and my daughter has severe asthma. She has called me a bad mom and says that her niece knows more and says my daughter doesnt know her ABC's or 123's which is a lie. She told my daughter to tell me im not allowed to yell at her or hit her and my mom. My mom and I completely love her and dont just yell at her for no reason. When shes bad, she gets disciplined and she gets smacked on her hand or butt, never beaten with belts or anything like that. I feel that was completely disrespectful and now my daughter is defiant against me. She has a problem with her sleeping with me in my queens sized bed as well. She just wants complete control of my daughter and hates I cut her out of communication. I need help on how to handle this situation.

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Ev - posted on 09/14/2014

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I have to agree with Dove. 1) Get a lawyer. 2) Find solid evidence he sells drugs or has involvment in them such as arrest records, court documents where he was seen in court for charges and even if he was sentenced on those charges. 3) He has every right to have his child with him too. 4) I am not advocating that he is a good person but all we have is your word about the situation. I do think that if there is hard proof he is selling and is a danger to the child then he should have supervised visits. 5) Do not communicate with his mother. She has no legal standing in this at all.

Dove - posted on 09/14/2014

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And you may want to find another way to handle her other than yelling and spanking. My ex-sil lost temporary custody of my stepnephew to a man who beat her bloody... all because she spanked him for going into the road.

Dove - posted on 09/14/2014

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Get a lawyer... and get proof of his drug selling (hard proof... not hearsay). Unless you have solid evidence against him he is, most likely, legally entitled to 50/50 custody. You need to have hard evidence proving that this is not in her best interest... otherwise you don't stand a chance in court.

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