Karen - posted on 10/07/2013 ( 18 moms have responded )
I am a single mom that has a ten year old daughter in 5th grade. Up until this month she has had no issues in school with any student. She is a tough,smart,athletic girl. She even plays Little League with the boys (but she is also a girlie girlie too). Last week I found out from another student that she saw my daugther and another classmate in the guildance counselors office. I knew nothing about this. When she returned home from soccer practice that day I asked her if anything happened at school today. At first she said no, then I said, "Are you sure?" Then she proceeded to tell me that her and her friend went down to guidance because another classmate put a note in her friend's locker saying, "Why are you talking to Ana when we told you not to." Two weeks prior to this incident two girls in her class stopped speaking to her for no apparent reason and started telling friends of my daugther not to speak to her either. And they listened!!!!!!!!!! This is the first thing that makes me sooooo angry. Why on earth would not one of her friends think for themselves and say, "Ana is my friend, if you have an issue with her its not my business." So at recess my daughter sat on the bleacher by herself and cried. When they all saw she was crying they came over to her and asked why she was crying and that they didn't do anything to hurt her. My daughter said ,"Well I asked you several times why you aren't speaking to me and no one will tell me." So one of the girls said, "Oh because someone touched my locker combination and I thought it was you." Which was an utterly ridiculous reason to stop talking to her and get others to do the same. And the only reason they came over to begin with is that they didnt' want to get in trouble by the lunch monitor as to why my daugther was crying. So apparently they all made up. (or so I thought) Now again two weeks later one of the same girls and a different girl in the class stopped speaking to my daughter again. Only this time one of them put the note I spoke of earlier in another students locker. This is when my daughter made a decision to go to guidance. After a week long investigation by the counselor and teachers no one can tell me why this happened. None of the girls involved was able to say why it started to begin with. And to my knowledge no one got any kind of punishment for what they did. The guidance counselor was calling it a conflict. There was no conflict that needed meditiation. It was just pure mean girl bullying done for no apparent reasoning. The issue I am having is that the three of the girls that were involved I were girls that my daugther and I thought were her friends. I have had them over my house,sleepovers, invited them to parites,and pretty friendly with their parent. I am soooo angry that them for treating my daughter that way and just can't understand why not one of them stuck up for her. And this girls have the nerve to run up to me and my daughter's dad when we pick her up from aftercare and give us hugs. I don't want to talk to them or their parents because I am so angry..One parent I made aware that her daugther was involved because she also ignored my daughter when someone in the group told her not to talk to her. The funny thing about this is that all the girls are more on the quiet less agressive side, while my daugther has no problem sticking up for herself, so why they decided to pick on the strong one is beyond me. I just don't know how to stop being so angry at what they did! And what do I say to my daughter now she feels she can't trust any of those girls and I feel that they are not real friends if they went along with what one person told them to do.