Help getting 4 year old w/ two households to sleep through night

Devon - posted on 10/02/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )




I'm having serious problems at night w/ my 4 year old...we recently saw the doctor, who reminded both me and dad that at 4, she should sleeping in her own bed, by herself, and staying there all night. I completely agree, and I suspect dad would too, but he lives w/ his parents and his mom is determined to keep her a baby. She lays w/ her every night until she sleeps and then let's her crawl into bed w/ her later in the night. My poor daughter doesn't get why I won't allow this too. They've completely ruined years of good sleep training. I will be having another baby next a very small house, so getting her out of my bed and sleeping through the night is very important. How can I do this w/ out the other family's support? B/c as long as her dad lives under their roof, they will do what's best for his mom, not our daughter.


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Jodi - posted on 01/08/2014




Meh. My son used to sleep in bed with me sometimes at that age. It didn't ruin his sleep. He was never allowed to at his dad's house. But then, he was allowed to fall asleep at 11pm in front of the TV in his room at his dad's house. Do you think I liked that habit? I don't believe having one rule in one house and another in the other is something a child this age can't understand. You just need to focus on the fact that the rules in daddy's house will be different to the rules in yours. You can't control what goes on in dad's house, so you need to focus on how to make it work in yours.

Shireen - posted on 01/08/2014




we are dealing with a very similar situation in our household- my partner's 5 year old is allowed to get into bed with her mom, they "forget" to put her in her own bed to go to sleep, all the while her mother assures us that she is on the same page with us in terms of sleep schedule, agreements around sleeping in her own bed all night, etc. devon, have you devised a solution? i feel like we've tried everything, and each night always involves tears, frustration and poor sleep for all.

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