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Chris - posted on 12/12/2010
When the children are infants or toddlers, their needs come first. But, the husband/boyfriend should understand that and should help out. When they're in elementary school, their needs should still come first, but their should be enough of a balance to take care of both child and spouse needs, while taking care of yourself. As children get older they still play an important part in any family unit. If you raise them well, they should now know how to be respectful of Mom and Dad's time, learning to solve problems, but if they need Mom, she should always be available. My kids are between 20 - 25 now but they still need quality time with me and they know their dad is always okay with it.
Clara - posted on 11/10/2009
Its not about putting your baby first, but about having a balance ??
Daddy needs his own time with mommy, so we let the nanny babysit once a week and we go out for dinner..
My husband also has a very high position in his job, so its important for him that I am at some of his functions, and that is no place for a baby. So we leave her at home with the nanny, where she is happy. I also feel relaxed (me time ) and we both cant wait to get home to be with our little angel. Absinse does make the haert grow fonder, and more patient...
I feel its important to understand that the love you feel for your husband and child is very diffrent, but the same. Daddy sometimes just needs to be treated in the gentle loving manner you treat baby.
If some-one expects you to neglect your child for their sake, then it`s not a healthy relationship to start with.
I swear by attachment parenting ...
Carolee - posted on 11/10/2009
NO!!! You may love your husband/boyfriend, but your child/ren is/are you flesh and blood! Even if they are adopted, it stands the same way. A mother is a person who is charged with the absolute well-being of a child or children. Absolutely NOTHING trumps that. I've had to get myself out of many abusive relationships, but until the last one, with my son's sperm donor, it didn't really click. When he started pushing and shoving me *while holding my son*, no less, I had finally had enough! Nobody's happiness comes before my son's... nobody's.
Priscilla - posted on 11/09/2009
My personal opnion is (maternal feelings aside) is no. When they are little they cant fend for themselves - your husband/boyfriend can! The trick is to do it without your other half not feeling left out or unloved. Juggling skills needed. Once they are grown up its another kettle of fish. Good luck!
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