Help! How can I stop my 7 year old son to stop lieing?

Lindsey - posted on 01/17/2013 ( 3 moms have responded )

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We have tried everything we can to stop his lieing and nothing works. Any tricks?

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Holly - posted on 01/18/2013

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don't ask him anymore... if you ask him "did you break this?" or "why did you do this?" or "did you take the garbage out?" or "who ate the last cookie?" he will lie to you. don't give him the opportunity to lie. also let him know that since he lies, you can no longer believe ANYTHING that he says. i can't tell you for sure that this makes a difference, as this is a similar experience i am having to go through with my step daughter. and i don't believe that taking away the opportunity to lie fixes the PROBLEM, but it does keep lying at bay....

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Lindsey - posted on 01/18/2013

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He is my oldest. I have a 3 year old daughter. Its mostly to stay out of trouble. The teacher will write a note home and we ask him why he did this, thats usually when he lies. Like this morning he was kicking the floor, from another room i said stop hitting the wall. He said he wasn't. Then he continued to make the noise, He finally admitted that he was kicking the floor. I had a time explaining to him that when he is doing something and someone tells you top stop but they say the wrong action, and you say your not doing it that is still lieing. Because he is making the noise and said he wasn't. Im still not sure if he completely understood what I was saying. Unfortunitly, his sister is starting to pick up on this and is trying to get away with it.

Ariana - posted on 01/17/2013

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What is he lying about exactly? Do you have other children?

My best advice is to take away his opportunities to lie, so if you KNOW he did something, don't go up to him and say, did you do this? Just go give him the consequence, if he starts to say he didn't or something stop him before he can say it. So if you say 'you have this taken away because you broke this toy' or w/e the actual situation is, if he starts to say I didn't do that, tell him this is the consequence, and walk away. Or interupt him and say, no no excuses. That way you aren't setting him up for failure by going did you do this?

The issue comes in when there are other siblings etc. The problem is if you try to figure it out by asking, and he lies saying he didn't do something, it's still not helpful to ask him since you knew he was going to lie about it anyway. Your better off figuring things out the way you need to if he lies.

I don't know if he's doing any sort of random lying or if it's all to stay out of trouble (that's the usual reason for lying). Also don't allow him the opportunity to lie to get out of trouble, so if you ask him, did you make your bed? don't do that, just go check on the bed. Otherwise he might lie and say yes to put you off for a while and you're going to end up finding out anyway.

If it's random lies about things that don't even matter simply tell him you don't like being told stories and decide if it's worth giving him a consequence over (is it something about another person etc,) if he lies I won this at class and really everyone got something does that really matter? But if he lies 'so and so pushed me at school' and you find out it's not true that's the type of thing that deserves a consequence.

I hope some of that was helpful... My main advice is to get rid of as many opportunities for him to lie, and if he lies to you about something that doesn't matter, simply say you don't like hearing stories, if he lies to you about something that does matter give him a consequence and make him apologize and give restitution to the person he lied to. You might want to keep trying to have conversations about honesty and why it's important.

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