HELP!! Husband Yells At Son, Disregards My Opinion

Kathryn - posted on 01/08/2014 ( 3 moms have responded )

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Okay, it is time to do homework again. My son rushed through it and got a lot of answers wrong. I tried to go over it with him, and my DH says "I don't know why you all have such a hard time with this, it is no wonder why!" So then he proceeds to yell at him for not understanding and not getting answers right. I get so freaking angry with him I want to send my son to his room and go slap off on my DH for doing it. He expects our son to understand something when he is being yelled at? Seriously!!! Okay so yes I also have a hard time with math, but I would like to try and help my son understand it so he does not have to struggle the way I do. My husband yelling at him over it infuritates me. He tells me he wants our son to understand he is being serious about this. So what yelling means you are serious, are you kidding me??!! I let it go, so he wouldn't fall out of a tree or something (he has his own tree business), but I am really angry. We do not have anyone to trust to watch our children so we can hash out our problems when the kids are not around so getting time to get into this without our kids suffering from watching us fight is imposssible. I am not sure if I should calm down a bit before talking to my DH about this, or if my "yelling at him lets him know I am serious" crap. Any advice on what I should do would be great. I am sorry to be venting a little here but this has been going on for awhile and everytime I say something about it he forgets or disregards it altogether and then we are right back in this place -- AGAIN. You know? I mean I feel like I am at a loss here.

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Belle - posted on 01/08/2014

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I think you should talk to your son ask him how it makes him feel unless you already know. Then speak to ur husband & let him know u want to discuss & resolve this so it doesn't happen again. Tell him it makes you both feel as he thinks ur stupid & how much it's unappreciated & would be better if he had more patience or just didn't help at all. I wouldn't be able to deal.... Good luck!

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Belle - posted on 01/08/2014

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No problem Kathryn I hope it will help! Yes I agree yelling and showing impatience only makes matters worse. Honestly I would be scared to ask for help if I knew I'd get that everytime lol. Similar to my current work situation I'm in training & the mngr doesn't want me to ask her questions shes 60 & her patience are short and when I do she gives me rude remarks stares & every answer is condescending even raising her voice. I haven't been back all week long & will most likely not return. I'm a adult but I still have feelings & children's feelings are even more soft. They are so innocent. I hope he chooses to be more kind to you two :)

Kathryn - posted on 01/08/2014

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Thanks so much Belle Amour for responding to my post. I have been at a loss over this for quite some time. I understand his impatience with our son at times (raising boys can be quite the challenge), however, yelling only does the opposite, prevents someone from learning. I will try and talk to him soon. Thanks for the advice.

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