HELP! I am a single mom with a 13 year old son who walks all over me. He is very abusive and seems to like to torment me. He is angry and negative, critical and completely all about himself. He curses and challenges me. He has threatened me and laid hands on me before. He is now bigger than me and loves to puff up his chest and challenge me. I think he has a mood disorder, like bi-polar, but when I took him to the psychiatrist he only diagnosed him with depression. I feel there's a whole lot more going on than that, obviously. He prescribed him prozac, but I have not given him that because I was once on prozac years ago briefly and had a bad experience with it. His behavior is escalating, and I know it is going to get worse.

Shari - posted on 05/02/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )

3

0

0

He is very abusive and seems to like to torment me. He is angry, negative, and critical. He curses and has threatened me and laid hands on me before. He is now bigger than me and loves to puff up his chest and challenge me. I think he has a mood disorder, like bi-polar, but when I took him to the psychiatrist he only diagnosed him with depression. I feel there's a whole lot more going on than that, obviously. He prescribed him prozac, but I have not given him that because I was once on prozac years ago briefly and had a bad experience with it. His behavior is escalating, and I know it is going to get worse. He routinely breaks things, smashes walls, and attacks his sister (although she provokes it, and attacks him back). I also have had him on 2 different ADD meds and both had bad reactions. My life with him is out of control, and I honestly don't know what to do for him. I used to think he was hypoglycemic because hunger seemed to affect him, and I was also thinking of sending him to military school or wilderness camp, or outward bound for the summer, but I'm really confused....PLEASE HELP!!
Shari

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Bobbie - posted on 05/02/2012

500

9

169

First of all, depression is real and requires medication to assist the person in feeling better. You asked for help from the doctor and now you just are going to ignore it? If the medication was bad for you it doesn't mean it will be bad for your son. You also can speak up to the doctor and tell him of your bad reaction to it and ask him to subscribe something different.
Secondly your son is crying out for many things. It is too deep to get into it but seriously, focus on getting help for yourself to treat him better. Bad parenting isn't done on purpose,but a child being aggressive, cursing and laying hands on you all points to you not having the tools you need to correct this before he ends up doing time.
The quick answer is this
1- expect good behavior from him and don't whine, curse at him or critize him. He is learning these behaviors from somewhere, my guess is he is learning them from how you treat him
2- treat him with respect, love and understanding
3- when he doesn't behave don't allow it to escalate to yelling and screaming. It takes two to fight. If you stay calm and in control of the situation and really listen to what he is trying to tell you his mood, sadness and frustration levels will come down.
4- READ books on how to raise a child properly
5 - Don't look for excuses like he has anything wrong with him. It's you, plain and simple. He is reacting to his environment in the only way he can after years of putting up with it

This conversation has been closed to further comments

1 Comment

View replies by

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms