Help! I don't know what to do anymore

Michelle - posted on 06/03/2011 ( 7 moms have responded )

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My partner and I have been together almost 3 years and have a 1 year old daughter. We lived with his parents for a year and a bit then moved into our own home just before I gave birth. His mother has never really liked me since we started getting serious and she does little things that push me well over the edge, things such as trying to do everything that suits her even though it is not what we want, or (my partner is sick atm) and she gives him things from her even though we already have them and she knows we already have them (things like a bottle for water when we literally have a glass cabinet FULL of them) and she just keeps trying to interfere, and all his family ever do is go on about how things are at THEIR house or how they do things like EVERYTHING i do is not good enough. and he thinks she is a lovely lady when she is literally a two faced beep. for example our car broke down and the mechanic is a family friend of theirs and she told them that she was the one paying to get it fixed when we were actually giving them the money and turns out that money went to a holiday for her to go to NZ instead of on the car which was done for free yet my partner cant see anything wrong with this?



And his little sister is the rudest little girl (shes 4) and gets spoilt rotten then comes over and is the bosiest rudest child I have EVR seen! I seriously dont no if I can take it anymore because nothing I EVER do is good enough for any of them including my partner Im on the edge of losing it



And she will invite my parnter and our daughter out and not me Im just left an outsider and when I do come I get cold shoulder from EVERYONE! when my daughter was first born (her name is bella) she kept going on about how its a nonsence name that doesnt have a meaning (I had to correct at least 3 times telling her its italian or french for beautiful) and then her daughter started calling mine Belly instead of Bella which i had words to my partner about and he spoke to his mum...it eventually stopped although lately his mum has started calling her Belly....I cant take it anymore

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Louise - posted on 06/04/2011

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What you are experiencing is very common when the mother in law realises that this is a serious relationship. It happened to me so I know the best way to shut her up is to be sweetness and light and let her stew. Invite her over for dinner and laugh at her jokes and compliment her on her dress so on. Kill her off with kindness. It is really difficult to stick the boot in to somebody who is nice! When she brings stuff over thank her and place it to one side. She will soon shut up believe me.

Your husband can not see what is going on around him because he is a mummies boy and this will not change for years. He will eventually see what is going on under his nose and he will step up and put her in her place but until then you have to take it. Don't moan about his mother to his face, let him work it out himself.

His mother is feeling jealous and the only why she can vent is by being petty. Be the bigger woman and let it go, she will realise she is being a bitch eventually. Let her get it off her chest and just smile inside. You have her son! ha

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Kristi - posted on 06/04/2011

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You need to talk to him about this. I had similar, but not such extreame problem with my in-laws. It really didn't get resolved until we moved away from them. Now they have to drive 2 hours to tell me how to raise my children and we are so much happier because the gas prices are so high. Unfortuantly we moved closer to my family and they are doing almost the same thing to him that his mother was doing to me. About his 4 year old sister, make it clear to both your partner and his sister that it is your home and not hers and if she comes to visit she will show respect to you or she will not come over anymore (this worked for me with a niece that was unbearable). Good luck and I hope the two of you can work things out!

Kayla - posted on 06/04/2011

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Oh I understand exactly how you feel!! Some mothers can be so manipulative and so two faced but they act in a certain way when your partner is there so that they don't see it and if you say anything to your partner then you turn out to be the "bitch" louise's advice is very good, maybe you should take that on board even though it might kill you to b nice to her :) all the best!!

Michelle - posted on 06/04/2011

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thanks everyone
Tammy I dont talk to my dad and my mum is in the middle of her second divorce so trying to just b there for her...plus my family lives a while away.
Again thank you everyone really made me smile and lift my spirits :D

Ashley - posted on 06/04/2011

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But why get married if yall not getting along now, getting married to someone sometimes doesn't change them for better. She is gambling either its going to get worse our it maybe get better.

Tammy - posted on 06/03/2011

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Maybe if you two finally got married, your husband's family will respect you more and treat you better. If that doesn't change things, then you seriously need to consider moving aways away from his family, so that it's not so easy for them to come by. I can't believe you have lasted 3 whole years with all this going on! I know, I would have lost my mind by now! BTW, where is your own family? Your Mum, your Dad?

Ashley - posted on 06/03/2011

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Hi Michelle, first Off, if your hubby wants his mom that much involved in that much of his life 24/7 he needs to marry her or CUT THE CORD... You need a man thats going to stand up for you at all times! If he cant understand that you and his mom dont get along he needs to make it easy for you, cause you are his other half.. you both have to be happy..
(1).Tell your hubby how you feel about his mom nagging,
and she needs to lay off you guys.
(2). Either straighten that little 4 yr old up yourself of never let her in your home you need to stand up for yourself especially from a 4 yr old. you make rule she needs to follow them.
(3) or you talk to his mom and put her in her place if she dont like it all well she obviously dont like you anyway and wants to make your life hell.
(4). STAND UP FOR YOURSELF GIRL. if your man wont do it you need too. i know how you feel been their and stood up for myself and i won. its the best feeling in the world. either, you end up leaving and doing you. or keep putting up with this bullcrap for the rest of your life..
(5). remember THEIR IS ALWAYS MORE FISH IN THE SEA.. more guys in the world who will treat you like a queen.
(6). make sure IF THEY DONT GET YOUR DAUGHTERS NAME CORRECT THEY HAVE NO BUSINESS SEEING HER AT ALL...
(7).Its your daughter you can pick any name you want, tell her she can stop with the drama. and to grow the hell up.
(8).you just really need to talk with you PARTNER make sure he is listening to your feelings, he needs to stand up for you or yall need to move the hell away. or if he dont want to help you then you need to get out of that relationship and find someone who will. and trust me children or not their are men out their for you!
write me back if you just need to chat girl im here with advise for you i been their and done that!

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