!!! Help I need advice about my ex taking me to court on child care!!!

Sandy - posted on 08/27/2016 ( 6 moms have responded )




I have 2 daughters with my ex husband an 11 year old with special needs and a 5 year old. We got divorced in 2014 at the time of the divorce I let him have custody of our oldest only due to her being closer to her dad and I kept the youngest . We did not add child support and aranged we would have the other every other weekend. When I seprated from him my now 5 year old was only 11 months and I never had him asking if she needed clothes, diapers or any thing and he would only come around to see her lie once every 3 months and my now fiance has been the one helping care for her since her dad hasnt. After the divorce he never followed about letting me have our oldest every other weekend and would bring her when he wanted and would sometimes try getting me to keep her during the week for him able to go to work at one time he didnt bring her or let me know any thing for 5 months befor bringing her againing to me for 1 moth befor we started haveing problems again. He travels to his country and takes our daughter without telling me hes leaveing and never tells me if shes sick and in the hospital. I have not let our youngest go with him since october last year due to problems he wont fix like havein a bed for her at his aparment and getiing one that is 2 rooms as of right now he has 1 bed room aparment and has his bed in the same room with my oldest daughter which I fell isnt right. On top of that my fiance dosent like he wasnts to try seeing her but not help support his own daughter and has another man takeing care of his daughter becuse he wont. ( my ex husband also dosent work daily he is self employed and has been mostly liveing off the oldest SSI even while I was with him).
Now he has a lawyer and I all ready got papers saying he is takeing me to court due to keepiing the daughter from him, not helping him care about the oldest and keeping the sisters away from each other I need some advice from other moms about this that gone throught stuff thank you.


Jodi - posted on 08/27/2016




Both of you need to stop using the children as pawns. It sounds like your divorce decree stipulates the care of the children - stick to it. I noticed you are also going on about financial support....if you have one child each, then why should he pay you child support?

Your current fiance is right - it isn't his job to support the child you are raising - it is YOUR job. So unless you are paying support to your ex to help with the other child, you have no right to complain about lack of support for the child you are raising.

But honestly, your post is very confusing - all I could get was that you are both violating your agreement about visitation with the children....and ultimately the only people suffering here are the kids.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 08/27/2016




First off, your children are NOT property and that is how you both have been treating them. They are humans.

Secondly, GET A LAWYER!!


View replies by

Sarah - posted on 08/27/2016




This statement just steams me:
" I let him have custody of our oldest only due to her being closer to her dad and I kept the youngest ."
Like you were deciding who got to keep the family pet! No regard for the relationship between the children even!

Michelle - posted on 08/27/2016




I agree with the other ladies.
You are both in the wrong. Get a lawyer and go to court. Hopefully a judge can try and sort out the mess you 2 have created.
Why would any parent chose to separate the children and then use them as pawns?

Sarah - posted on 08/27/2016




I agree, you both have used the children to manipulate the other. "...one time he didnt bring her or let me know any thing for 5 months befor bringing her againing to me .." If he did not bring her to you, why did you not go get her, or call him to find out out she was doing? You also cannot just decide to not let the younger child see her father or her sister. So I am not surprised that he wants to get the custody agreement ironed out in court. If you don't want him to leave the country with you child, then ask the judge to order him to give you notice. I hope the two of you can negotiate an arrangement that benefits both children.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 08/27/2016




This is why you should have gotten orders to begin with. Since you did not, you need to address the issue now, in court.

Neither of you has acted as an adult.

Get an attorney, and prepare your case. Good luck with everything.

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