it normal to be frustrated?

Nicole - posted on 12/14/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )




Is there something wrong with me? I’m a first time mom and have a high demand 10 mth old son, who I adore Most of the time I can calmly handle any temper tantrums and middle of the night issues he has. However, every once in a while I find myself losing patience with him. I sometimes have to just put him down and walk away. I also tend to vent (raising my voice and admittedly cursing) to my husband about my frustration with him. My husband doesn't think that a mom should ever act like this and that there is something wrong with me. I honestly just thought it was a human reaction to extreme frustration, but now he has me second guessing myself because he claims it isn’t natural for a mom to ever get frustrated with her child. Is it normal to get frustrated? Honestly, it usually only happens after numerous nights of interrupted sleep, or after he has been screaming for an extended period of time. I have maybe lost my patience 10-15 times since he was born. He was VERY colicky for the first 4 mths……which I'm just going to share was the hardest thing I have every dealt with in my life thus far. My husband is very helpful and great dad, but the minute our little guy starts getting fussy he hands him off. He also does not get up with him in the middle of the night. Sometimes, I think my frustration is more with me being the only one dealing with our son when he is difficult. We both have high demand job s and work at least 40 hours a week. To be clear, I act out by venting to my husband, not my yelling at the baby. I always put the baby down in his crib and walk away. Is my husband right? Is there something wrong with me that I get this frustrated sometimes? Do other mom’s feel this way and how do they handle it? I just need to know if this is normal or I am missing some maternal trait that makes you impervious to all your kid’s shenanigans.


Michelle - posted on 12/14/2012




So am I understanding that you work as well?

Why isn't your husband helping out more? It's not fair on you to be the only one dealing with the sleepless nights and the acting out that our little darlings (note the sarcasm) give us all on your own. It took BOTH of you to create your child and it takes BOTH of you to raise your child.

There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with your but there is a lot wrong with your husband!!!!!!

I just read this to my husband and he couldn't believe what your husband expects. He also said to leave your son with your husband for a day and see how calm he is by bedtime.

My husband looks after all 3 children on a Saturday when I work all day so he knows what it's like. My kids are 11, 8.5 and 2.5 so they can be a handful.


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Amy - posted on 12/14/2012




Yes sometimes you just need to walk away, it happens to the best of moms but it happens more frequently when you're sleep deprived. Maybe you can work out a schedule with your husband where you get to sleep in on Saturdays. I also used to have my husband take the first wake up in the middle of the night so I could get a solid chunk of sleep, it made a huge difference even if I was up every hour after that with the kids.

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