Help me please!! He steals!

Leen - posted on 09/06/2016 ( 32 moms have responded )

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I'm not a mom I'm only 13 years old girl but I really need help I'm an aunt for 10 kids all younger than me but the ones who I have problem with are just 3 a girl who is 11 a boy who is 7 close to become 8 and a girl who is 6 close to become 7 they are around me the whole time as an aunt even tho I'm young I want to change stuff (their mum and dad busy so the whole time they are at my house and sleep at my house a lot I feel like I'm little mom) well the problem that I'm having with the 7 year old boy he steals a lot especially money we know he steals we have proves we talked to him yelled at him but nothing worked he had a problem before when he used to run away from home because of me he stopped I taught him a lesson in my way since no one did anything so now I'm thinking maybe I can teach him a lesson about stealing like what I did last time when he used to run away but its hard I tried million of times to make him stop stealing but he still steal help please? Did your child went through this ? How did you deal with it ?

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Sarah - posted on 09/07/2016

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Leen, what is holding you back from getting the support that you and your family so badly needs?

Sarah - posted on 09/07/2016

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Who enrolls you in school, takes you to the doctor, signs your permission slips for school trips etc?

Sarah - posted on 09/07/2016

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Leen, someone must be your legal guardian. Even if they are not taking care of you. You are only 13, this is way to big a burden for you to handle on your own. I really encourage your to talk to a teacher, guidance counselor, principal or a coach and tell them what you are going thru. Don't be afraid of anyone getting in trouble, your family needs support and you need some relief.

Dove - posted on 09/07/2016

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Lock up your stuff and have his parents deal w/ him. Who is raising you?

32 Comments

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Leen - posted on 09/09/2016

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Well no I don't really want to live with grandma I just like to visit her I'm at home alone most of the time so I get bored so I go to her house and we chat eat together do stuff together then when it gets dark I go back home but she's so strict if I misbehave and stuff so I don't want to live with her but shes the relative that if I have no choice but to live with someone I will choose her because shes nice to me and my relationship with her is strong I don't want to live with her but I love her I love the life I'm living now but I hate it too because there is a lot of things I don't understand and a lot of things going on and a lot of responsibilities and my 15 and 16 years old sisters won't stop fighting lately....

Leen - posted on 09/09/2016

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O-okay...but who's the adult your talking about?..I'm afraid that things will change or I will live with someone I don't like...well if I have to live with an Adult...I want to live with grandma she takes care of me shes nice but my sisters they say you have a house shes too old and sick......

Leen - posted on 09/09/2016

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But who is this adult...do we really need an adult...I feel mature enough..

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 09/08/2016

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Honey, you and you sister NEED AN ADULT!

You will not be in any trouble with authorities, and if your sisters get upset, they need to understand that it is NOT OK for them to shoulder this themselves. If your uncle was appointed legal guardian, he is failing miserably.

Talk to someone. Please!

Leen - posted on 09/08/2016

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Because I am afraid...if I tell them what's going to happen next ? I don't want my life to change..

Sarah - posted on 09/08/2016

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Leen:
"I just can't walk to a teacher or someone and tell them...my older sisters will get soo mad at me"
Yes you can, and no one is going to be mad. This arrangement is absurd. A 13 yo girl needs a mother, or at least a mother figure. You can make this better for yourself. Why are you afraid?

Leen - posted on 09/08/2016

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Well when my parents died when I was 7 my sisters were 9 and 11 and there were another one living with us she was 16 but because my parents and my oldest sister died all of sudden we couldn't live alone so my uncle who lives in another city he left his family and came and started to live with us but he still used to visit his family every week when I became 11 my sisters 13 and 14 my third sister got married at 20 and left so there were just three of us with my uncle but then bc of some problems my uncle stopped sleeping at our house but he keeps visiting us every week we are on contact with him if anything happened we can call him if we need help or anything he is here and we have other 3 older sisters but they are married and live with their family and one lives in Spain and one lives in another city and one lives in the same city as us but far but they visit us and always check on us plus I don't live alone with my 15 and 16 years old sis a maid live with us too she just clean and stuff but at least she is a person who live with us and when no one at home sometimes my 15 and 16 years old sisters are out and sometimes the maid out too so they don't leave me at home alone they put me at my grandmas house and my grandma take good care of me till my sisters come back well sometimes they forget and go out and leave me alone at home tho but it's not bad well I don't really find anything wrong with my life and I just can't walk to a teacher or someone and tell them...my older sisters will get soo mad at me

Sarah - posted on 09/08/2016

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I agree Leen, you can just walk into any one of the people she advised and explain your living situation. No one will be in trouble. I think you may find a huge amount of relief can come from some very simple changes. Your nephew needs consequences for stealing; like working to pay back what he stole, writing a letter of apology, or losing privileges. You as a 13 year old can't really enforce any consequences on him.

Dove - posted on 09/08/2016

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If you go to school you talk to your teacher, principal, school nurse, or guidance counselor... Just tell them that you live alone w/ your teenage sisters as your guardians and you have no adult legal guardian that lives w/ you. Your older sisters may have good intentions, but they are not looking out for your best interest. You NEED to have an adult living w/ you.

Why doesn't your uncle or one of your adult sisters live in the same house w/ you? That would probably be the easiest and best solution to the situation. I don't mind you wasting my time. I wouldn't keep responding if it was bothering me that much. I'm just concerned for you because this situation is not acceptable... at all.

Leen - posted on 09/08/2016

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I don't know how..plus my older sisters would scold me if i do as what you said but well thank you so much and I'm sorry for wasting your time..

Dove - posted on 09/08/2016

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By the way... the 7 year old stealing is a cry for help because of the severe neglect in his life. I know you are probably going to deny that and make more excuses... but then do you think you know better at 13 than an almost 40 year old woman who has been doing childcare for over 22 years and raising kids for almost 15.... ? You aren't equipped to raise yourself and you aren't equipped to help this boy unless you involve some outside intervention.

Dove - posted on 09/08/2016

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No one misunderstood you. What part of that don't you get?! You are NOT in an appropriate situation or environment. I HAVE daughters that are almost 15... and while they are extremely mature and responsible... teenagers are not meant to be solely taking care of themselves... much less other teenagers or children. Adults stopping by once or twice a week is WORLD'S apart from what is appropriate here. Your family situation is not OK... no matter what information you think you are clarifying... nothing you say will make it OK.

YOU came to an internet site full of mom's because you have a situation you can't handle. The MOMS on this site have told you that you need to seek intervention and help for your family. If you are going to choose to ignore that... why did you waste our time? Grow up and do what is right for your family. If you think you are grown enough to handle the situation... do the right thing and get the authorities involved that can help. Otherwise... quit wasting our time and go play instead... like you SHOULD be doing since you are only a child still.

Leen - posted on 09/08/2016

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My older sisters and uncle and we have money even tho my parents died my dad had companies my sis husband is taking care of the companies now but since it's my dad companies we get money every month so my 16 year old sis take care of the money for house stuff and our needs and as I said I'm not taking care of my sis my 15 and 16 years sisters are taking care of me and my other sisters who are married visit us and always there with us my uncle too

Leen - posted on 09/08/2016

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Nothing is holding me back we get the support we need my uncle support my family my older sisters too I live alone with my 15 and 16 years old sisters but that doesn't mean we do everything alone we have money and my other older sisters who are married they visit us at least once twice a week if we need anything we have our uncle and cousins our uncle is like our dad he helps us with everything I'm not taking care of myself or anything you misunderstood something and the 7 year old boy has a family but lately his parents are busy so he is staying at our house my relationship with my sis son is so strong because he is like my lil bro because he is always at my house most of the time and sleep here he steals lately but bc his parents are busy I want to be the one who makes him stop stealing as an aunt...

Dove - posted on 09/07/2016

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Of course it isn't easy. Doing the right thing often isn't... but that's life. Making the hard choices to get the help you need to succeed. You won't do it because you aren't ready for the responsibility you are trying to bear. I can now only hope and pray that someone becomes aware of this situation and gets the authorities involved on your behalf since you clearly are not mature enough to be shouldering this mess.

Leen - posted on 09/07/2016

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Um...you say it like it's easy thing to do...well I'm ok with my life now and my other older sisters visit us once every short while my uncle too..I'm listening to what you are saying but I'm not going to do that..

Dove - posted on 09/07/2016

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15 and 16 year old children can not have legal guardianship over you... no one under 18 can do that. We do understand what you are saying, but you are not listening to what WE are saying... your family needs help from the proper authorities. Period. THAT is how you help the boy best...

Leen - posted on 09/07/2016

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Well..my 15 and 16 year older sisters are living with me so I'm not really taking care of myself plus it's not I'm taking care of the boy or anything I'm just trying to help his parents with this problem that's all please understand

Dove - posted on 09/07/2016

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You are a child... you need to involve the proper authorities if you are 13 and don't have anyone taking care of you. The way to get him to stop stealing is to get your family the professional help it needs. THAT is what you do. If you won't do that... then good luck cuz your situation is not likely to ever improve.

Leen - posted on 09/07/2016

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It's not my job to parent it's just as an aunt I want to teach him that stealing is bad do you know a way to make him stop stealing? his parents and my sisters talked to him and stuff but he still steal nothing worked but I didn't give up so I came here for help

Leen - posted on 09/07/2016

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No not the same parents.. And I don't have parents..the other 9 are ok just the 7 year old one he has stealing problem its just I want to make him stop stealing his parents love him and take care of him but lately he is at our house and he steals from me and my two older sisters and stuff I just need a way to make him stop do you know a way?

Michelle - posted on 09/06/2016

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I agree with Dove. The parents actually need to parent, not a 13yo aunt.
Are all 10 kids from the same parents?

Dove - posted on 09/06/2016

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Your family could probably benefit from some professional intervention if the kids are so neglected that a 13 year old feels it is her job to parent... If your parents (or theirs) are not up for parenting perhaps you should speak to your school's guidance counselor and explain the whole situation. They may be able to intervene and get the adults into some parenting classes or some other helpful intervention services.

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