help me please to get my son back

Andrian - posted on 06/30/2015 ( 7 moms have responded )

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i was spanked my son because of some behavior issue and for low grades. The last i spanking i gave to him at he 13 for his bad behavior. From that day my started to hate me. He refuse to talk o me.Always moody and lonely . He is no more happy child. He really hates to get spanked. His father also spanked him sometime. We spanked him bare bottom. Now he is 19. But still keep on the same behavior. Now he far from us. He is studying at collage now. he refuse ta attend my call. it really break my heart. me and my husband done everything to make him happy. but still not worked.so please help me

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Michelle - posted on 06/30/2015

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This just reinforces that spanking doesn't work with teens.
You have to do a lot of apologizing and make him trust you again. You are lucky he doesn't file assault charges against you as well.

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Tabitha - posted on 07/02/2015

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Oh and for teenagers ground them, punish them by spending quality time with them. Have them help clean house, go do something you want to do and drag them along. If they end up enjoying it what's the harm, at least they aren't out getting into trouble, they are with you hopefully bonding time and not arguing. Get rid of hate with love.

Tabitha - posted on 07/02/2015

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Spare the rod, spoil the child. There are some things you spank a child for, but not abuse the child. Depending on the parent and child in the situation. There are other techniques that could have been used since the spanking didn't work, standing your child in the corner for a time out or having your child stand and hold a book balanced on each hand flat on the palms of their hands with their arms held straight out from their sides, make them stand there for 3-5 minutes. If they lower their arms or get mad and drop the book on purpose add an extra minute. There is a huge controversy on everything these days. Some people may not agree with me some may that's their right to have their own opinions. Give him time. When the time is right apologize and explain why you did what you did. That you were just trying to prevent them from doing wrong. Some children will listen, some rebel. When they live and learn, they will understand why you raised him the way you did. Everyone has different parenting styles. Some want to be a parent and get respect, some want to be a friend and be a pushover and end up spoiling their child. Thats a big part of what is wrong with the world today. If you spank just make sure you don't hit hard enough to leave bruises or marks (marks may last 3 minutes sometimes) if you bruise or leave welts or marks that last for a few days, that's considered abuse. As far spanking his bare butt, some children don't respond to you spanking them with pants over their butt I understand why you decided to try that way instead to get through to your child. But, like I said to begin with spanking isn't for every child. There are other ways to get through to your child. Hope this helps others out there.

Dove - posted on 06/30/2015

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I see when I addressed this issue on another board you marked it as funny... I guess if you think abusing your child is funny... OK then. You are either a troll or someone desperately in need of professional help... We'll see how long it takes you to mark my current posts as funny and that will give me my answer.

Dove - posted on 06/30/2015

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You ruined your relationship w/ your child by abusing and sexually assaulting him. You may never get him back. You wouldn't get me back in you were MY parent... You just have to let him go.

Raye - posted on 06/30/2015

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First, when spanking stops being effecting (usually by the teens) it's time to move on to something else that works better. Spanking bare bottom could be considered abuse, depending on the laws where you live. Now, your son is an adult, and can choose to live his life without contacting you. You should learn to give him his independence.

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