HELP! my 11 month throws a horrible tantrum any time i leave her sight. what do i do???

Dannielle - posted on 07/16/2012 ( 5 moms have responded )




ignoring it does nothing. she will scream and cry and make herself sick. but i cannot get anything done. she is so great for everyone else. but anytime i am around i cant leave her side or else she throws horrible tantrums hitting herself in the head and throwing herself back. i am at my wits end! someone tell me what to do! i am a first time mother having a breakdown


Dove - posted on 07/16/2012




Talk to her when you are out of her sight. Let her follow you around or bring her with you when you need to switch rooms.

It's most likely separation anxiety and is perfectly normal. Some kids never get it, some get it super mild, and others are more severe. It is ok to leave her side if you need to get stuff done, but keep talking to her and/or let her join you. If all else fails.... there's always nap time to do stuff. ;)


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User - posted on 07/16/2012




Amy is right. Ignoring it will make it worse. This is normal separation anxiety. She is beginning to realise she is a separate person from you. She needs extra reassurance at this time. Take her with you whe you go to other rooms. I even used to take my babies to the bathroom with me. They are now independent and confident children.

Amy - posted on 07/16/2012




Why can't you bring her into the rooms where you are cleaning? I found that by ignoring it my child actually made it worst. More than likely it's separation anxiety and there are different things you can do to try and speed through the phase. Play peek a boo, hide behind the corner and pop out frequently, this will reach her that even though you are out of sight your still there. Never try to sneak away, although its easier for you it can be more traumatic for your little one. Speak in timeframes, I'm going to switch laundry I'll be back in two minutes, but be sure to be back within that time.

Dannielle - posted on 07/16/2012




i recently had to leave for a week. it was bad before i left while i was gone she was wonderful. when i got back the whining slowly started again.
i have two dogs i clean house constantly bc she is always on the floor. so i let her play in the living room while i walk around and do what i need to do. i try to ignore it as much as i can and just talk to her from the other room but until i physically sit down on the floor with her and hold her she cries. letting her cry it out has never been something that i could do even when sleeping. when she was younger. she can cry for 30+ minutes straight and never stop until she is coughing and gagging.

Lisamarie - posted on 07/16/2012




How long have you left her to cry it out?
The fact that she is fine with everyone else suggests that she is getting a certain reaction from you that she gets from no-one else and is craving that. Don't worry, this is normal, she's testing her limits. Try increasing the time every time you leave, just by a minute or so. So, first time you leave the room and she cries, leave it 2 minutes before going to her, then the next time, 3 mins and so on and see how that goes. It is going to take time and it's not going to work within 24 hours but a whole lot of patience always helps.
Good luck! :-)

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