Help...my 16 year old is out of control..

Toni - posted on 09/11/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I have a 16 year old son that has been in and out of the court system. Everything from assault to damage to real property to possesion and distrbution of weed. Well, I have sent him to a theraputic Wilderness program for 13 months and a group home...both to no avail. They work for a while, but he reverts right back to old behaviors....even with intense counseling. He has had 2 psycological evals and both say that there is nothing wrong with him. He as been in therapy for the last 4 years. We are currently in family therapy 2 times per week and he has individual therapy once per week. Honestly, we don't know what is wrong. We have entertained everything from a mental disorder to Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome (even though we never discovered anything had happened to him) As a parent, I have tried everything in both trying to find out what is wrong with my son and get him help on all different levels with several different professionals. We are currently on a waiting list for a Juvenile Offender program where it will also focus on Substance abuse. We had a SASSY done on him and it came back with high probablity of substance abuse. He has failed 5 drug test, so at this point we are going with drug abuse treatment. He is still so defiant and refuses to follow any rules. I have begged his PO to help me and get him somewhere that can watch him 24/7 as I am a single mother and have to work. The PO is nice, but he does not put his foot down with Caleb. Caleb has violated every rule in the probation, but he keeps getting slapped on the hand. I don't know what to do anymore. I sometimes fear for my safety as he has threatned me on several occasions. I have called the police and they have tried to threaten him and make him understand where he is headed. I don't know what to do anymore. He has threatned suidcide and been hospitalized 3 times, but it was proven to only be maniupulation to get out of whatever trouble he was facing at the time. He lies about everything and makes up stories about people that don't even exsist...all to try and get him out of trouble that he is facing. Please help....any advice that I have not already tried?

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Toni - posted on 09/11/2012

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I appreciate you Vicki. That means alot. Just to know someone understands. Thank you.

Vicki - posted on 09/11/2012

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Tony I do pray you get some anwers and peace of mind real soon, my thoughts are with you, hang in there! :)

Toni - posted on 09/11/2012

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Vicki, his therapist is pushing for the substance abuse Juvenile offender program. She even wrote a letter to the court and calls his PO weekly. We have had such a big problem getting the PO to follow through and enforce the rules. I understand he has other kids to oversee and guidlines to follow, but I have done everything they ask me to do and more. I even had to get FMLA to keep from loosing my job because I was out so much with Caleb's incidents. I really hope that I get some relief soon and that Caleb gets the help he needs. I really wish I could just dedicate all my time to it, but I have to pay the bills and carry the health insurance. His father is not in the picture and I suspect that is a big part of his problem. But, I have always provided everything he needs and more, so I don't understand why he seems to hate me so much.

Vicki - posted on 09/11/2012

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Toni, I'm so sorry you are going through this it sounds very stressful. I dont have much to say other than have you talked to your councellor? If so what are they sugesting?

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