HELP! My 16 yr old son is getting high, selling pot, drinking, doing terrible in school and has a crappy attitude.

Cheri - posted on 05/13/2013 ( 3 moms have responded )

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HELP! My 16 yr old son is getting high, selling pot, drinking, doing terrible in school and has a crappy attitude. This has been happening off/on for about a year and a half now. My husband and I have taken his phone, xbox, grounded him, restricted his freedom (when he is not grounded)...you name it, we've tried it. In the past, he straighten up and stopped this behavior. Always short-lived but he did stop.

Over the last 2-3 months it has gotten worse. He is no longer remorseful, he openly tells us he will not stop, he has decided to quit hockey (which he has played for over 6 yrs), he has threatened to run away and his personality is becoming increasing 'cold'. I am afraid of what he may do to himself (when mad, he has said "maybe I should just kill himself"). He has not been violent toward us even once during this ordeal, yet I am also afraid of him hurting us or his sister (14 yrs old). Just snapping one night when he is drunk or high. I hate this!!!

I love and miss my son!! I hate this new person he has become...

Any suggestions?

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User - posted on 05/14/2013

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That's his way of telling you I want to do what I want when he says that he wants to kill himself And I would put a stop to it ASAP. Make him take a home drug test And tell him if he does not pass the drug test every week he will be going to military school. That's what I would do in my opinion. Are you told my 7 year old daughter if she starts acting up I will be sending her to military school So she can learn discipline and Respect.

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I would say if out patient therapy sessions are not helping long term, you should commit him. That said, I would probably give out patient a few more months as you said he hadn't actually gotten violent yet, but as soon as he does, as soon as he hits ANYONE or tries to hurt himself, you need to commit him. You want to nip this while he is still a minor and you can actually do something about it. Once he is 18, you cannot force him to get treatment without legal action.

Sometimes finding a doctor for a teen can be very difficult, and if they do not trust the doctor they are seeing, the whole treatment can do more harm than good. How does he feel about his psychologist? You didn't mention prescribed drugs so I am assuming he sees a psychologist rather than a psychiatrist, and I think that is a good thing. If you do find another doctor for him, I suggest sticking with a psychologist.

Have you spoken to his doctor alone? Does he usually go to therapy alone or do you have family sessions? Speak to his doctor about the root cause of his behavior. Usually, there is a deeper reason for this type of destructive behavior, and it can often seem very unrelated to those of us not trained in mental health. Make sure that both you and your son's doctor are on the same page as far as his treatment plans are concerned. Sometimes things will get worse before they get better, and the doctor knows that, but fails to tell the parents.

Sharron - posted on 05/14/2013

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my daughter did the same, i rang the police, then i placed her in rehab..... she is fighting fit and healthly.....
the worst of all of it..... you have to cruel to kind to save your kids......

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