help...my 17 year old son who was the 'best son a parent could wish for' has changed...switched overnight

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Mrs Deborah - posted on 12/02/2013

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Hi Anna
really appreciated your response.
You are so right in many ways.
thanks
Debi*

Anna - posted on 11/25/2013

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I hate to say that your son is right - but he has observed that the jerks and bullies reap the rewards and nice guys come last.

It is understandable that he wants to join the winning team - and it is understandable that everybody else, who got used to him being nice and easy to handle, is now upset.

However, perhaps it is time for your son to discover his dominant streak and keep people from walking all over him.

Chris - posted on 11/21/2013

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Drugs get him help .... thats a start if im right , no one changes that fast . Been clean for 12 plus years and happy

Mrs Deborah - posted on 11/20/2013

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Had a long talk with my boy last night.
He explained that he Is fed up of being Mr Nice Guy and that he got no benefits from being nice.He gave an example of a friend in his class that did not hand his homework in on time and that his teacher just said ''make sure you bring it in tomorrow''....when he did not bring his in on an ocassion he said the teacher was. extremely angry and gave him a good telling off.He said if he was not such a goody,goody then the teacher would not have reacted that way.Naturally I explained to him that he Is missing the bigger picture and that the teacher has a vested interest in him and his abilities etc.At the school meeting this Morning,I told the 3 teachers present what my boys issue was and they too pointed it out to him that by being a 'nice guy ' has got him Where he Is today and that the teacher who rebuked him does. not see the benefit of stressing out the other boy as he cannot see. the benefit or on the flip side my boy does not know if a letter has been sent to the other boys home or if his parents have been informed or letter sent to his house etc...so the grass may not be greener on the other side.
So many learning things were. said today and I really hope he has taken it on board.
When you are innately nice it Is hard not to be nice.....
Its nice having my son back...I gave him a hug and a kiss on his cheek after the meeting.
When I stated last night he switched over night...he actually did...he Is very well behaved,well mannered young man...he Is not perfect...Don't get me wrong...he never brings trouble to our door,intelligent,nice looking....a son to be proud of....I hope things continue just the way they were.
Oh yeah....asked him to empty the bins yesterday..he must have done it after I went to bed as they were both changed by the morning !!!I will 'watch this space'.

Theresa - posted on 11/20/2013

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Mrs. Deborah Lee- It sounds like he is being BULLIED at school- he is obviously upset.. or maybe it's a girlfriend( that you didn't know about) that broke up with him ?

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 11/19/2013

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If he REALLY, truly didn't show any signs...no moodiness, no abnormal down states, absolutely no mood or behaviour changes at all, and this is a "he went to bed fine and woke up an asshole" issue...

The only thing I could think of is that he's having issues at school, and not letting you know. Which, if that's the case, he's been hiding it for a bit.

Have a conversation with him. Find out what it stems from.

My kid's attitude drastically changed. It wasn't an "instant" thing, but it was abnormal for him. We traced it to a medical condition that, once fixed, his attitude problem was as well. But like I said, it really wasn't "instant". There were indicators.

Mrs Deborah - posted on 11/19/2013

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Will do so when I recover from my shock.
I Plan to sit down with him tonight when he comes back from Rugby.We have a meeting at his school in the morning.
Thank you for the advice.
X

Jodi - posted on 11/19/2013

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Ok, so you haven't sat down and had a conversation with him about it yet? I would suggest that would be the first step. A non-confrontational conversation. Ask him what is going on. If you have a good relationship with him, he will talk to you about it if there is something bothering him.

Mrs Deborah - posted on 11/19/2013

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I promise you,he would not say boo to a goose,polite,lovely young man that Is liked by all.
He Is supposed to take out the trash 2 days a week.When he failed to do so on the Monday his dad reminded him,then on the Tuesday...and Wed Morning.His dad asked him if he was going to take it out...and he blatantly said ''no''.Shocked or what that he would have the audacity to Speak to his dad Like that.
On the Friday before we had a letter from his school that he did not turn up to his form class.Up until then he was good scholar.
He Is our eldest child and yes he Is a teenager but I an so shocked at this.

Jodi - posted on 11/19/2013

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A little more information would be helpful. Kids this age don't generally just change overnight for no reason. Something is definitely going on.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 11/19/2013

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Um, having been the parent of not one, but two teenage boys, I can guarantee that your son did not "switch overnight".

What is happening?

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