Help!!! My 4 year old is terrible. Nap times, listening, doing naughty things like playing in his poop and hitting his siblings on purpose. I have tried everything and nothing works. Half the time he thinks I am funny. What can I do?

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Minivette - posted on 08/13/2013

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I feel your pain. I am still going through what I refer to the "how mad can mom get before her head blows up". I have tried numerous techniques but the trick is to keep with whatever program you decide to use. And that means anyone that will be doing the discipline. They all were working but my husband would refuse to read the book or watch a DVD. I do know one thing, every time he does something it is to get a reaction from you or his siblings. That is his fuel and payoff. Remove that and in time things start to subside. I had to deal with 3 boys all basically a year or so apart. I know that they must have been having secret meeting and planning how get me really mad. I ended up using bits and pieces of different methods to fit my situation. There was no possible way to get three boys to sit in time out chairs at the same time for more than a minute if I was lucky. I even used a timer. The chairs flew or one would start moving closer to the other or somehow they would find toys (I have no idea where they had them hidden) and start throwing them at each other. My two favorite methods are: "Magic 1,2,3" DVD which many schools use and you can usually find it in the public library and "Have a New Kid by Friday" that is a book(which I got dirt cheap on Amazon) or DVD (but DVD is more expensive).
I would like to say it will get easier but I can't or at least for me it hasn't. Being a single mom now with 3 active boys (8, 7 1/2, and 6 1/2 yrs old) it is still challenging. They cannot seem to pee into the toilet and get it all over the floor or in their bathtub. Better yet, someone keeps drawing smiley faces the bathroom walls with well lets just say it is not chocolate. Not one will confess to doing it, so I tell them they will start loosing computer privileges, or no TV or Xbox or Wii. That will get a reaction for them to point fingers and eventually my oldest will go and clean it up.
Remember, don't let him see you sweat. He wants your attention. You give it to him then he is in control. That is why heal laughs. It is like a Got Ya.. Give a warning and tell him if it happens again you will take something that he really likes away. Do not bluff. If he does it again follow through. I had a box that I designated specifically for that use. At times it would be pretty full. I joked with them that I was going to have fun with my new toys.
The terrible 3's merge into the 4's. I have never met a mom that does not have numerous stories about that age. As for naps, he might me over them. Each child has a different age for when they stop taking naps. My nephew stopped at 4 yrs old.
I leave you will a story that that will either make you say "OMG, I am glad that was not me" or you will say "I feel so sorry for you" but looking back it is funny.
I was working one weekend and my husband was home watching the boys. That meant he was in the bedroom watching TV while the boys did whatever. And that is what happened. My oldest was about 5 1/2 and the other two were 4 and 3 yrs old at the time. At the time I had a child safety latch that I attached to the top of the refrigerator and freezer doors of the side by side. My son's medication was in there and I could not take any chances that the door would be left open or that they might take it out. I usually had a 2-3 month supply of cartridges that had to be refrigerated at all times. If it was left out for more than 30 minutes it would be garbage. So anyway... They decided (I guess) that they were bored. They had to have planned every step out. So the 4 yr old (the strongest of the three) got a chair and pushed it over to the refrigerator. Then the 5 yr old (the brains) got on the chair and pulled the safety latch off of the top of the refrigerator (it was on with strong double sided adhesive strips). After the refrigerator was open the three of them had a field day. They pulled out the milk, a full dozen eggs, juice,ketchup, mustard and of course chocolate syrup. And they also got up on the countertop and got the peanut butter and powdered chocolate mix too. After they had finished shopping in the kitchen they took it all into my oldest son's bedroom and began redecorate. The carpet had everything dumped on it including the peanut butter and a dozen broken eggs. Then came the toys. Remember at that age toys are still on the larger size. Peanut butter was smeared onto and into toys. Funny thing was that they even remembered to go back and fix the latch on the refrigerator door so it didn't look like it had been opened at all. My husband called me yelling and screaming. He also called his mom to help watch the boys while he tried to clean it up. It was so bad that by the time I got home he had the entire carpet out of the room. The concrete floor was even wet from the mess they made. They destroyed toys -- I could not get the peanut butter out. My husband was so mad that he packed up all of their toys into boxes and stored them in the garage. They were permitted to keep 3 toys each and that was it. Some of the toys never made it back into the house ever again. And my husband said he never heard a thing. I say he was sleeping. Three boys doing that much of a mess .... I know that they were laughing and screaming having fun.
I hope that maybe I have help a little or at least made you laugh and realize that it will all work out eventually.

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Kami - posted on 08/14/2013

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Thank you so much for your response. Everyday is a new day so I am really going to work on being more consistent. Maybe that was my biggest problem. I think I may have been skipping around too much on the discipline part. And yes I laughed but I also cried because I feel your pain.

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