Help! My 4 year old is turning into a "mean girl!"

Amy - posted on 01/29/2015 ( no moms have responded yet )

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Hello, I am having a problem and am hoping some other mums with more experience can perhaps help me. I have a four and a half year old daughter, who is very bright and has always been a sweet and kind child with a tender heart. More than one year ago, we moved to the USA (we are Dutch) and my daughter had a difficult transition into preschool. Although my husband and I learned to speak English in school, our girl did not yet learn English and so had a difficult time communicating with the other children. The children laughed at her funny accent, made fun of her and did not want to play with her, and everyday she would come home crying. We began trying to speak more English at home to try to help her learn, and eventually she began to improve her language (children learn so quickly!) and the situation at school also improved. She started to make some friends, and began to love school, we were very happy. But now she is suddenly accepted by the "mean girls" who used to make fun of her, and she is participating with these other children in bullying another little girl. The teacher told me she saw my daughter spitting on this other child! I feel like I am punched in the stomach, to think of my sweet girl behaving so horribly, and my heart aches for this other child. I have spoken to my daughter, asking her what is she thinking to behave this way, and does she not remember how it feels to have others being mean to her, and why does she want to behave so cruel? She cried and said she was sorry, she does not want to be mean but she wants to be liked by the other children. She believes if she does not participate in the bullying, then the children will begin to bully her again. I don't know what to do? I hope this makes sense, I know my English is not perfect. I would be very grateful for suggestions on how to help my child find the strength to behave with kindness, even when others do not.

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