Help my 9 month old has seperation anxiety

Megan - posted on 10/22/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I have a 9 month old baby boy! He seems to have developed what I can only describe as " separation anxiety". If i so much as exit a room or take a shower he flips out and starts screaming bloody murder. This "phase" has started to disrupt his sleeping routine and mine. He up until about a month ago pretty much slept through the night. NOT NOW. He is very strong willed, we have tried the "cry it out" method but he will scream for hours until we budge! How long does this "phase" last? what can I do to help him through it? I am a stay at home mom with no family in our area and my husband works 16+ hours a day.......Any Suggestions?????

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Dove - posted on 10/23/2012

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Suggestions? Give him what he needs... which is you. CIO will most likely prolong this phase and make it worse. He is becoming 'anxious' because he is realizing he is a separate person from you and feels like that is very scary. Leaving him to cry will prove to him that being separate from you IS scary. He needs to know that you will always be there for him and when you can't be with him for a short period of time you are near (by hearing your voice) and you will come back to him soon.



Let him follow you around the house if he is mobile. Use a sling, if you can, if he's not. When you have to leave him in a different room for a short period of time, talk to him, and come back as soon as you can. Games like peek-a-boo can help because he will learn that even when he can't see you... you are still there.



As for how long the phase lasts... it depends on the kid. Some kids never go through this or only experience it a handful of random times. Other kids have it for YEARS. 'Most' kids fall somewhere in between.

Anaquita - posted on 10/23/2012

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How long the phase lasts, varies, and it could come back off an on. That being said I think the cry it out method actually makes it worse. If he wakes up and needs a cuddle till he falls back asleep, then cuddle him. If he needs to be in the same room, then take him with you. Eventually it will ease up.

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