HELP My 9 month old sone is a totally different baby around me vs anyone else...Why?

User - posted on 05/07/2012 ( 6 moms have responded )

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I am a stay at home mom with a 9 month old son. He acts like total brat round me. He screams until I give in, if I leave his side (even if he can see me) he screams. He is a different baby when I'm not around. If I leave him with Daddy, grandma or his uncle he doesn't shed a tear after I leave. When with anyone else he is a good baby. What can I do to stop this? What did I do to start this behavior? I can't get anything done! Does anyone have any suggestions? I'm stressing out!

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Katherine - posted on 05/10/2012

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Do you have a bouncy? Maybe you can take that in with you when you shower and put him there instead of his crib. He may not fuss as much. Just an idea. Plus he's at the age where he could easily try to climb out. My daughters both started at 9 months.

User - posted on 05/10/2012

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Thank You for the advice.

I am trying to let him fuss more. I set him in his crib when I shower, he screams and screams. I let it go on for a while then go get him. I think he can scream forever! He has been sleeping better too since I let him fuss more. Thanks again

Chrystal - posted on 05/07/2012

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He behaves that way with you because your mommy and he knows it's safe to act up; he knows you'll still love him and be there for him. Look at it as a compliment that he loves and trusts you. But as far the actual behaviors you said it right in your op "He screams until I give in" he does it because it works. When it doesn't work for him anymore he'll stop doing it but that means you have to follow through with not giving in. It wasn't a huge problem with my son redirection worked for him at that age. My daughter on the other hand is 11 months and has had a temper since she was 7 months redirection does not work with her. With her I have tell her no and let the melt down work itself out. Maybe redirection will work for son or maybe just letting him have his mad moment is what will work. The needing to be by your side is very very common at his age it's frustrating for us moms but it does pass eventually. My kids were both clingy at that age now my daughter can crawl and wants to be off exploring. I think it's they are just realizing that they are an independent person from mom but they still can't do much for themselves and it's scary for them. Since he is well behaved for others than maybe that means mommy needs a day off to reduce her stress.

Alison - posted on 05/07/2012

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All children tend to behave better when they are with someone else. With mom, they let it all hang out. Also, they have different expectations of others. He doesn't want to snuggle with a babysitter the way that he 'needs' to snuggle with mama.

That said, if you want him to change his behavior, you have to stop rewarding it. As long as screaming gets him what he wants, he WILL scream.

Try to set a schedule with times to focus on him (pick times when he tends to be more needy), and set times to get things done. You can put him in a play pen or put up a gate to keep him out of the kitchen.

You need to set your own boundaries. If you can't bear to let your child suffer, you can follow Katherine's advice (which is absolutely fine). But if you can't bear to spend all day looking after your child, that is perfectly ok too.

Katherine - posted on 05/07/2012

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It's a mom thing. My 3 year old does the same thing and has since birth. You didn't do anything to start this behavior.
I just carried my daughter everywhere, didn't have much of a choice. I couldn't STAND her screaming! Sometimes she would play with toys but not for long. It's the age where you have to do everything one handed :/

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