Help!!! My 9 Yr old son is having major problems...ADHD, OCD, ODD & Possible Autism (Major Aggressive Behavior)

Holly - posted on 10/24/2014 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I need help now!!! My son has been having problems for several years, but since me and my soon to be ex husband have split, and he is now living with his girlfriend & her 13 yr old son, mind you we're not even divorced yet....my son has been having major problems at school and at home, to the point that the school has even threatened to send him to ALP (Alternative Learning Program)...He has hit other children at school and also attacks me and my daughter, who is 8, on a daily basis. The least little things will set him off. I have asked his doctor for help for several years, and I don't feel that he even listens to me at all. He just acts like everything is no big deal!!! Really??? I can't even get a job right now because the school wants me to focus completely on him so that I can get him the help he needs, but with the divorce going on, I have to pay the bills now. I have made him an appointment with our local Mental Health facility, and he has a therapist now, and they are supposed to get him Psychological testing soon, but I feel that they don't realize what a serious threat he is to himself and others RIGHT NOW!!!! If I don't get him on meds soon, I feel that he will end up in a local mental hospital or in DCS custody. I seem to be running into brick walls with the assistance that I need, and no one seems to give me any clear answers.....I'm actually crying right now as I am typing this to you all tonight, because I feel so alone, and I am so glad that I found this website...I know that there has to be someone out there that knows what I am going through and can give me some guidance. One of the many therapists that he has seen even told me he may have Autism. He used to lick his hands constantly, and he says that they are rusty all the time. Now he obsesses about lotion wanting it on his soles of his feet, his hair, hands, etc. He doesn't adapt well to changes at all sometimes, and he will dart across a parking lot in like 5 seconds or less. Sometimes he acts very well controlled, but it comes and goes. He curses us, throws objects at me, hits me with his fist, and literally tried to get in the car tonight, start it, and drive away...I had to call the police and crisis....PLEASE CAN ANYONE HELP THIS WORN OUT MOM IN TN????

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Cherub's - posted on 10/28/2014

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Hi I got some interesting news for you from my local cable broadcast. A doctor was talking about ways to treat ADHD his name Sanford. C. Newmark of Osher,suggests many things here is what I jotted down as I remembered it, I'm sure you can research him more on the web
1. He reccomended a book ( Transforming: The difficult child by Glasser)
2.Listed activities for these children should be: Outside time immediately afterschool not homework, yoga/meditation, time in nature,execise recommended non team sports but indivdual sports are better suited for the child such as Martial Arts ( idk you may think it makes a child more violent but on the contrary it does not. It instills dicipline and self confidence among other things) Time in naure he repeated this several times, a walk in the park for 20 mins relaxes the child and helps them to focus. Also reducing social media (computers, tv, games etc.)
3. Book reccomedation ( Last child in the woods by Louv) talks about Naure Deficit Disorder our children needs to get outside more often.
4. Clean up thier diet
5. Diet elimination
b. Check the child levels ( not sure but I think he meant horomones, you will have to research his work alittle more to find out. His Osher website.
6. Importance of Omegas 3's
7. Homeopathy remedies for attention and relaxation (please research more about this)
He did recommnd Valerian and Lemon balm for relaxation- low dose it calms but does not improve focus should be given he said in the afternoon. Valerian-super calm available but he recommended it with lemon balm is you can find it. As always check with your childs physician.
Personally im definitely trying the valerian super calm on nights my son says he cant sleep when hes restless or excited about something:)

Take home message he said was that we should be careful of over diagnose of ADHD and that we should allow for many normal variantions of learning styles and abilities.
He did want to point out that these studies/recommendations were done on children who were not on any medications.

Of course I say medication when needed:) Good luck and stay positive and hopeful mom to mom.

Cherub's - posted on 10/24/2014

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May comfort come your way soon. I do not have a child with these sort of problems, but my heart flew out to you and I felt compelled to respond. I too was divorced and my son was acting out in school and home not violent but verbal and combative. I searched up ways to help him and lit upon a change in diet can affect behavior. So no sweets before school. Completely cut out his morning diet of sugary breakfast foods. Replaced with eggs,(protein ggod for our brain functions), turkey bacon, oatmeal with honey and a bit of butter, whole bread, plain cheerios (trader joe has a great brand) with almond milk or shelf milk parmalat. That helped for a while, and a healthy snack for school -apple, orange, popcorn etc. and luch. Phase two was structure in the midst of chaos (the divorce) used index cards to help him follow thru on task like homework time, shower time, chores and bed tme routine and in the morning more cards for waking up and brush teeth, clothes, got backpack etc. This helped me to stop from always having to correct him, doing that usually blew his temper. I did not reward bad behavior, but tried to balance it with such as: no hand held games from 4 to 6pm and when he was use to me not taking it away comletely it would advance to a whole day if his behavior did not improve over time. Mom this took months before I saw real change, even until the next school year he got progressively better, I coupled these things with postive feedback from me. Even then he would have his days albeit very few. So balance the discipline. They need it. And limit TV and computer time with other activites, what does he like... l to draw or do puzzles or look under a microscope. Also give a alternative to the hand held games... discipline by using music therapy, dance, or a book read together or a game played together. Inclusion. He may need to feel apart of ...during this trying time made worse by divorce. And Mom you need some support, physical: an actual group meet up with children with your son's needs, and possible some counseling for yourself with all that you are going thru right now. Reaching out here was just the start, find the support you need so very badly at this time! Other than what you are getting, if its not helping you both. Maybe its in a nearby town or suburb. Holdfast, the answer is out there. Btw I have dealt with emmotionally disturbed children in my past and found that love and discipline that does not mean physical discipline was very helpful and im sure along with the right doctors' prescribed medicine, always helped the child. So be empowered find the skills you need, support and counseling, to deal with and love your child as I already can hear from your appeal that you do. My heart goes out to you and I know there is an answer that awaits your particular circumstance at home and school with your son.

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