Help my daughter is mentally and phyically abusive to me and is 18 HELP

Sheri - posted on 11/27/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )

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HELP my daughter is 18 soon to be 19 and is still living at home she has NO resepct for me her mother and i have LUPUS and many other dibilitating diseases any chance she gets she says something horrible and I have no say is what she tells me she gets violent if she doesnt get what she want and causes fights between me and my husband of 18 years wich is her real father. She has a part time job but that is all she does she does nothing to help in the house my husband goes in and cleans her room cause it get so bad. I feel when i try and lay any kind of law down i am the wicked witch. well she has other words she calls me. I dont know what to do and she has been seeing a kid that is younger than her and is going to prison for selling drugs. The mother of him is a complete loser she is a pill popping theif. she has stolen my norco and today i got a call from her The boys mother asking me to buy pills from me NO WAY is she nuts. I am not giving selling or trading anything to her them or anyone. That is insane. She said well your daughter has been over here alot like i owe her something. But as for my daughter she is completly out of control she has been to doctors and they have diagnosed her with bi-polar but now that she is 18 she said im an adult and i dont have to take the pills and now she is not even taking her birth control. she got a std from this boy also and some kind of skin thing SCABIES we are very clean and pretty well off. what did i do wrong. I did not raise her like this she enjoys living like this she is VERY sexually active. i cannot count on m y fingures and toes. How many its has been. I know she is doing drugs by the way she acts. Someone help me. I want her out in the past 5 years she has cracked my rib threatened to put me back in the hospital after my open heart surgery, broke my toe and hit me many times and is alwasy cornering me and either threatning to hit me or shoves me down.. I want to find her a place by herself am I a BAD mother for wanting her out???? please help me Sheri

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Lacye - posted on 12/08/2012

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Go to the police and file for an eviction notice. If she continues to try to hit you, call the police and have her arrested for domestic violence. What she is doing is not your fault! She is using your illnesses as an excuse for her behavior. She knows better, she just doesn't care.



You do not have to tolerate this. You are not a bad mother simply because of how you child acts. Things happen that are totally beyond a parent's control and this just happens to be one of them. As for the boyfriend's mother, tell her to suck it. You owe her nothing and her pill popping crap can go take a flying leap off a cliff. Personally, I would have called the police on her when she asked to buy pills off of me.

Sheri - posted on 12/08/2012

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Thank you so much for responding I really didnt think anyone cared. I have been strugling with her anger for years. She has been in counsling and when thye ask her why do you hate your mother so much she says I DONT KNOW. Well finally we had one of the counclers to get an answer I have Lupus and Colitus and have had Open heart surgery to have a lupus related tumor removed and the hatered has just been worse. I have has lupus now for 8 years and she told the counsler that she doesnot want to love me or get close to me cause i am sick with all these different diseases i am just going to die. i felt terrible to hear that and just put more blame on myself. I have tried so hard to get her to go to church and she said she doesnt believe in GOD. I just dont know . When we lived in Illinois i did call the police on her and they took her for a car ride and talked to her and did nothing. that was before she was 18 now she know there is nothing I can do. And the laws here in south carolina say if i want to kick her out i have to wait for 2 -3 months.

Javeia - posted on 11/27/2012

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CALL THE POLICE! She doesn't believe you are serious, for instance your husband is cleaning her room. This goes far beyond taking away the iPod or the car keys. She needs serious intervention before she winds up strung out or even dead. Also, you may call your local parenting line where they can direct you to family counseling and so on to figure out why your daughter is so angry. Though I don't know where you are in the country I will give you the toll free number to the line in Alabama and maybe they can at least get you the number to yours in your state. Feel free to call from 8am to 8 pm 866-962-3030 or visit them online at http://pal.ua.edu/index2.php. And sweet heart you are not a bad parent for wanting safety for yourself and to be stress free, it is one thing for your daughter to stay out late but to hit you, that is too far. I am proud that you are reaching out for help. Many nights of prayer and determination from you is what is going to set her free. Just know some one out there is praying for you as well.

Good luck.

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