Help, My ex is letting my 2 and 3 y/o call his gf mommy?!?!?!?!

Roxanne - posted on 08/13/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Hello, my name is Roxy. I am new to circle of moms and am in some desperate need of other motherly advice considering mine is absent in my life. My children are currently living with their father and have been for the past year. They are 2 and 3. About a year ago I became homeless due to losing my job and then my apartment so I decided it was best for them at the time to live with him. By far the hardest thing I ever had to do in my life. Anyways they are living in a nice home, with a big back yard, plenty of toys and all of the neccesities. I recently went to drop my children off at their fathers (I get them overnight every thursday and friday night) and we were sitting down talking about the children, me my ex and his girlfriend, when all of the sudden I heard my 3 year old say to the girlfriend "Look Mommy"....I thought maybe I was hearing things until I heard it again and then my heart sank to the bottoms of my feet. It is not like im some dead beat mother who doesnt see her children nor is involved in their lives to the fullest. And when I walekd outside to leave there father says to me "about the kids calling her mommy...." I could barely speak due to the massive amount of tears flowing. But I had enough sense to calmly speak to him and explain why it upset me so much. Number one! You are CONFUSING our children......they are entirely too young to understand that they have 2 mommys and they should be corrected. He told me that Jaidyn started calling her that. Well I dont give a shit if she did or not, correct her. I would never have my children call any other man Daddy at this age. Until they are old enough to make their own decisions and UNDERSTAND who is who. Please tell me what you think. I have been a mess since friday, non stop crying, cant eat, cant sleep and I feel helpless. It is so painful and makes me so angry!

4 Comments

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Tinker1987 - posted on 08/13/2012

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I would pull the pin on that. She should be called by her first name. if you had a boyfriend they should call him by his first name and not daddy,because they have a dad...

Roxanne - posted on 08/13/2012

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Trust me when I tell you, I think I am more than understanding and thankful for her help with raising our children. I have personally thanked her and I am grateful. But I still dont agree with anyone else being called Mommy. I keep trying to come to terms with it. and it doesnt seem to happen and I know that it never will. And they are NOT old enough to understand in my opinion. My children are not mature enough to know the difference at 2 and 3 years old. But trust me that I am grateful that they can provide what I am unable to at this time. And It is best for my children NOT to be confused by having 2 "mommys". However, i do like the idea of "Mommy" Andrea better then just mommy if me and there father can come to a compromise. Thank you for the idea.

Dove - posted on 08/13/2012

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They live with the woman. She is raising them with their father 5 out of 7 days/week. I know it hurts you a LOT, but think about what is best for the kids here. They are not too young to understand having two Mom's. Perhaps you can talk to your ex and come up with a compromise that they call her 'Mommy whatever her first name is'.

I'm sorry this is so painful for you. I couldn't imagine being away from my children most of the time, but this woman HAS earned the Mommy title in your children's lives as well as you.

Roxanne - posted on 08/13/2012

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And I do have a boyfriend who I am with now for 9 months and have corrected my children when they called him daddy a few times. Regardless, he is NOT their father and they are not to call him daddy.

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