Help, my father in law has cancer and my mother in law (they have been divorced for 10 years) is being crazy!

Michael - posted on 02/17/2015 ( 3 moms have responded )

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We have just recently discovered my husbands dad has cancer. He has requested that only his children and their spouses, and his sister be made a ware of the situation. Well my brother in law told their mother and everything broke lose.We aren't on good terms anyway since she tried to break apart my marriage. My husband is the oldest and in the medical field so dad wants him to be at every doc app ect. Dad just had surgery to get rid of most of the cancer and hasn't started chemo yet. Well my mother in law is a very selfish person. When my son was born my parents found out they were grandparents through FACEBOOK! My husband and i were in emergency surgery and my son and I almost died and here she is posting that on facebook. She tells everyone what a doting grandma she is non stop we live 5 miles from her and she doesn't even bother to call or stop by even when we call she doesn't have anything to do with him but when her sisters or her friends are around she is the best ever! Well now that everyone is paying attention to father in law who has repeatedly asked and said don't come around don't call me. They don't have any communication their divorce was terrible. Yet she keeps sticking her nose in where it does need to be. And now she is saying that there is medical stuff going on with her so she can have some attention. I just don;t know what to do. She calls my husband yelling and upset asking why doesn't dad want her around. My husband is at the end of his rope. I want to step in but I don't know how to do it tactfully without blowing up and causing more issues. Mommies please help! This cancer is bad and I can't have her trying to jump in with everything when dad has asked her to go on with her life he doesn't want to have anything to do with her.

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 02/17/2015

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Your FIL can request a restraining order for her. The kids need to stand up to their mother and tell her to butt out.

Its none of her business. He's stated his wishes.

Raye - posted on 02/17/2015

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If it's your FIL's wishes that your MIL not be involved, then the family needs to step up and tell her to butt out. Be as kind as possible but firm, and stay firm. She will have her feelings hurt, but it's not about her and she should accept that (although sounds like she won't). Tell her she's not helping anyone, not even herself because it won't have the effect she wants of more attention, it will continue to drive people away from her.

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