[deleted account] ( 1 mom has responded )
I'm not one to normally do this stuff, but HELP!!!!! My MIL (mother-in-law) dresses extremely inappropriate! Like low cut camis, with push up bras, super short shorts and skirts all with her boobs and butt hanging out, a couple sizes too small. First let me say she is short, but slightly overweight for her height. We have similar body types, I am taller & also slightly overweight, so this isn't me hating on her for her weight, we are the same. She is proud of her body, and I support that. Heck I even wish I had her confidence to wear some of the things she does (but I would wear them in the appropriate sizes). It hasn't always been an issue for us the way she dresses, because in the beginning it wasn't as bad as it is now.(Maybe it is the addition of kids? IDK) She seems to be getting worse the older she gets, she will be 50 this year. My husband says that she never dressed that way when he & his brother were younger. We (my husband & I) have talked to her about this before, during my pregnancy & after the birth of our son, telling her that she will be an influence on our son, and that we wanted it to be a positive one. She said that she understood, but nothing changed. My husband talked to her by himself, she said she wasn't going to wear turtle necks and that his father liked the way she was dressing, so she wasn't going to change and that his request was ridiculous/offensive. My husband tried to appeal to his father, and was told that he didn't see anything wrong with the way she was dressing and that we needed to lighten up. When we found out that our 2nd child was a girl, we talked to her again, asking her to just cover up a bit more when she is around us and our children, obviously we weren't trying to dictate what she wore all the time. We live next door, and have asked that when she is out in the common area that she cover up. She mows the lawn on a riding lawn mower in a white bikini top, with mini skirt & thong... does yard work in the same outfit, including bending over. :X We have talked about moving, but my husband is adamant that we stay to try to work things out. Besides we built our home and love it here, so leaving would break our hearts. I LOVE my in-laws, they really are wonderful people, and we want them to be apart of our children's lives. Our daughter, now 3yo, has been asking to wear low cut dresses and super short shorts/skirts, "Just like Nana" (which to my surprise they actually make that crap for kids her age [Yes, to each their own, but to me it is crap!]). Our son (7 and very interested in females) has taken notice of Nana's clothing. He asked why don't I wear things like that, I said Mommy has different tastes in clothing is all. His response, Nana has big boobs, he immediately turned red, I immediately saw red. Since hearing those comments from my children, it has become increasingly difficult for me to allow them to interact with her. If my MIL is dressed appropriately then I let the kids be around her, if she isn't I try to run interference and get them inside or just away from her. She has asked to take the kids for us, but we can't bring ourselves to let her. She knows something is wrong, because we have a close relationship, I just don't know how to talk to her about this AGAIN. We aren't a religious family, and I'm not always covered up to my neck, but I'm not hanging out at every angle either. I just think a little modesty for the young minds we are nurturing isn't too much to ask. So any advice on how to actually ask her to consider and even come to a compromise would be appreciated.