help my only child only favourite thing to do is to watch tv. she`s 8 and doesnt whant 2 play outside or play with her toys. we buld a water slide for her into the swimming pool, we have a x-box. its her b-day in January and i dont even know what to buy her that she will love. is this my fault? I do put off the tv but then I feel verry bad for her to play cause she says its borring alone. I must always get a child to come and play at our house athourwise she wount play. i don`t know how to play to keep her bussy and i want her to play by herself. im not a working mother so i have a lot of work to do at home. help me please. o and sorry for my spelling. we live in south africa so there is no change to go to a park or take walks its to dangerous
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Ariana - posted on 12/27/2012
Put a time-limit on the tv (and screen time). Give her an hour of tv, and that's it. Once the hours up she's on her own.
Look every kid whines and complains about how BORING things are, whether they have siblings or not. She'll complian, whine, bug you, bother you, you just tell her only people without brains are bored. She has a brain so she can't possibly be bored. She'll be frustrated and stomp around and complain about the unfairness of it all, but eventually she's going to give up and do something else.
Oh she'll stay strong for a while, hoping you'll cave, making you feel guilty, making you wonder if you're doing the right thing, driving you crazy. But eventually she will get SO BORED that she'll actually try to do something about it. She'll use her BRAIN and imagination to find something fun to do.
Now you can help her out initially by getting her an activity, or suggesting one or two things, but ultimately she will say everything is so terrible she can't do anything.
Just do the 1 hour limit rule for 1 month consistantly, no cheating, and you will see a change in her TRUST ME. To break a habit takes 30 days, after a month she'll be used to not having the tv on all the time. Possibly 1 hour tv and 1/2 hour xbox (or 1 1/2 hours of screen time to use for either one), maybe 2 1/2 hours on the weekend when the days longer. But no longer than that, and definitely not during the week.
Just make the commitment, ignore the whining, and she will learn to play on her own, just like thousands of other only children out there that have to do the same.
Esther - posted on 12/25/2012
if you feel bad after turning the tv off, and then turn it on again, then yes, this is partly your fault (not trying to be mean here, just giving you my 2 cents..) But you can help her. Turn of the tv and take some weeks to help her find her creativity. I have an almost 4 year old, only child, he plays alone a lot and hardly ever watches tv. Maybe you and your daughter can sit down and talk about what she likes, maybe reading/writing/crafts. Or start out with something that is a lot like tv. Get her some dolls/figurines and let her write a "play" and then tape it. The she can watch her selfmade show. My son has done that with lego before and loves to do that. Good luck!
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