Help my son is terrible at listening lately?

Ashten Altine - posted on 09/19/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )

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My son is 19 months old my husband has been gone on deployment,and my son just started potty training. I've been having trouble with getting him to listen. I have disciplined him since he was six months old and now all of the sudden he yells for my attention and screams and hollers and gets into everythinhe isn't supposed to. I need some ideas besides timeout and spanking its not working.

Please help

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Ariana - posted on 09/19/2012

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This is actually developmentally appropriate behavior. Which I'm sure knowing that isn't exactly the most helpful thing ha. My son was a little angel and then he hit about 18 months and started that same behavior.



I personally believe that time-out only works so well for little people and I would not spank at all. The only time I've ever given my child even a smack is if he smacks me and nothing else.



That being said 'not listening' is pretty broad term. If he starts yelling for your attention or screaming for something you can tell him 'I don't listen to yelling' and ignore the yelling or try to get him to use his words. I don't know how much your son talks but he may scream because he's frustrated. You may need to remind him to 'use his words' and simply don't respond to screaming. I know it's easier said than done but every behavior has a payoff, and if screaming ends up getting your attention, even negatively, then it's working for him. Ignore it consistantly and see if that works, if you decide to ignore it and even ONE time respond (more than I don't listen to screaming, please use your words) it will reinforce that he just needs to yell more the next time to try to get the negative attention he's seeking.



If he's getting into things he shouldn't I would 1. try to find ways to keep him out of things beforehand or 2. if that's impossible simply take him away or 3. find a natural consequence ex. if you throw a toy it gets taken away and warn him beforehand because he's still very young



My son used to jump on the couch and I simply told him if he jumps he's going to get taken off. Then I took him off, every single time (which was a lot) until he got it. He was really mad and yelled but I just told him you don't jump on the couch and left it at that. That's just an example.



Like I said, toddler age is a time of testing and limit-setting. The best thing for you to keep in mind is that he's looking at you to see how to act, that means you need to stay calm (even when you're losing your mind from a day of continuous testing). No ones perfect but I suggest not to spank anymore and work on more natural consequences.



Oh and don't forget about making things fun. It sound silly but even just acting silly can totally calm a kid down who's acting all crazy, not always but sometimes it works.

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