Help! My step-son hates me!

Katie - posted on 08/09/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )

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I have a 2 1/2 year old step-son and he does not like me. It doesn't matter what I do, he just doesn't care to be around me. He's very attached to his dad and if I try to step in and do anything with him, he gets so upset. He is very hard to be around. He screams and cries incessantly when he doesn't get what he wants. His tantrums are so bad they will last up to an hour at least two times a day. I'm at my wits end. He's so hard to be around or spend time with. It causes problems between my fiance and I because I have a hard time being around his son when he is there. I don't know where I stand in his life as far as the discipline goes. I have never spanked him, but I do scold him if he does something wrong. Half the time my fiance acts like it's okay and then the other half he gets mad at me about it. I want to develop a relationship with my step-son, but I feel like I've tried everything and nothing is working. I feel like he has some issues that cause him to act the way he does, but my fiance and his ex-wife won't take him to the doctor. Am I overreacting?

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Ev - posted on 08/10/2013

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How long have you been part of this little guy's life? Maybe its that you have not been around him long enough to develop that relationship. Also you have to understand he is still not understanding why mom and dad are not together, why dad is with someone else, and that dad is going to be marrying you. At two he just only knows that his world has changed greatly and does not know why or can understand that. You have to look at it from his point of view. The parting of his parents could be a big part of his being so attached to dad, his tantrums, and wanting his way all the time. Sometimes parents just give in during a situation like this to keep a child happy; it results in disaster because the child then takes it to the next level to get what he or see wants; this is when the parents should have stuck to their discipline plan all along. I think its time for a sit down with mom and dad and get on the same page about how they plan to discipline him in the future and what part you will and can play in this. But you can only ask for it, they may not go for it.

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