Help. Pacifier Addiction!

[deleted account] ( 40 moms have responded )

1st time posting.... hi all!

Our little one is 21 months old and has a heart attack if "the sucker" is taken away from her. We've been restricting it to bedtime only, but even so it's clearly a stress factor throughout the day for her (and us). However our oldest (she's 4.5 yrs old) was never attached to a pacifier. We got rid of hers at 18 months.... so this is a new experience for us. The little one does have a "teddy" that we allow her to trot around with (her comfort teddy i suppose), but her teeth are getting that funny pacifier shape to them... that's where part of our concern comes in. (the other part is tooth decay)

Does anyone have opinions, suggestions or advice on what to do?

TIA,
Sandy

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Amy - posted on 02/13/2009

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hi, when i took my childrens dummies away, we restricted them to their bedrooms and bedtime, so during the day if they got really upset they could go to their room an have a little suck, and gradually these visits to their rooms got less and less. we eventually got rid of them for good when we went on holiday and told the children we had forgotten them, and they never asked for them again, good luck xx

Tanya - posted on 02/11/2009

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My son, who is 22 months old today, was the same way. He didn't need it at the babysitters but at home he wanted it all the time as a security, especially at night. However, just last week he threw it down and said his famous "no" and was done with it. So I believe she will probably give it up on her on soon. So just continue to lesson the time and then she will give it up.

Sarah - posted on 02/06/2009

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I am a nazi mom. I tried the restriction route and all that jazz, every child is different, but what worked for us is the following.



Step one: get a lovey, introduce her to a blankie, stuffed animal, whatever (or let her pick one out herself) let her know that this is her lovey and that this is a mama/dada/auntie (whoever is her favorite) lovey, the lovey is mama when mama is not around and that she needs to take good care and make sure the lovey does not get sad or lonely ( we have a llama stuffed animal called mama llama)



Step two: Throw in that lovey does not like suckers



Step three: One week before her second birthday talk about saying goodbye to suckers, rent books about saying goodbye to suckers from the library on Monday, tell stories about where the suckers will go on Tuesday (I always said the Sucker fairy will come to get them and bring them back to sucker city where all the fairies make sucker structures out of them) Write a little book or sing a little song about saying goodbye to suckers on wednesday, prepare her for saying goodbye on Thursday, and then on friday have her help you gather all the suckers you can find (and make sure you get them all) and set them in a basket underneath her bed that night for the sucker fairy to come get. take them while she sleeps and leave pretty flowers or confetti or something fairy-ish in place.



whew.



I certainly hope this helps!

Tammi - posted on 02/06/2009

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restricting it to bedtime is a good start.  Try telling her that it is only for sleeptime and that if she takes it outside her room you will think she wants to go sleepy.  Also try telling her that she can't talk good with her sucker and she is getting to be a big girl.  My first daughter had a pacifier at sleep time up till she was two after a nap one day she brought it out of her bed with her, I looked at her and asked her if she wanted to go back to bed cuz she had her "sucky" she said no I asked her if she wanted to throw it out and she did (I took it out of garbage and cleaned it just in case)  at bedtime she asked for it I told her she threw it in the garbage and it was gone...because she remembers doing it she didnt argue or question it (guess I was lucky there)  anyways I would just try weening her away from it and keep telling her what a big girl she is getting to be and that only "babies have suckies in the daytime when they are awake"



good luck



Tammi

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Nicole - posted on 02/09/2013

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I Just had to tell you about this experience! My daughter was 3 years old and addicted to her pacifier. I could not for the life of me take it away from her without her throwing a tantrum. A friend of mine bought the book called The Paci Pixie where a fairy comes to the child during the night and takes the pacifier from the child while giving a gift at the same time. I read this book and played the song a few times to get my daughter used to the fact that the Paci Pixie was coming to take her pacifier to give to the new babies who needed it. Well the night came where the pixie came to the house and in the morning, my daughter was so proud of the fact that she was a big girl and gave up her pacifier!!! Check the book out! It was a life saver for us!

www.indigopixies.com

Tiffanny - posted on 05/03/2012

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My youngest daugjter was addicted to a passy. She could not fall asleep without out it. I know how hard it is to get rid of that thing. Lol when we decided to take it we did it just like the bottle. We took it and didnt look back. It was horrible but after awhile the will get tired of fighting for it and will give up. Some people think its mean but it gets harder the older they get. I had to do alot of cuddling after the first 24 hours i was the one to take the passy but her dad was the one who threw it away. So she knew both of us were very serious about no more passy.

Laura - posted on 03/10/2009

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well it has been a long time but I would just do baby steps with the sucky thing because it can be hard ,cause my younger son was off it at 6 months an when he started biting it I just never brought a nothe one try that an good luck from an old timer mom Laura

Stacy - posted on 02/13/2009

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So my daughter is almost 2.5, and loves her suckie. To be honest I kinda love it too! Anyway a while ago  we let her have it only at bed and naps. That was okay. I am now due to have our 2nd baby in May and thought it would be a good idea to get rid of it befor the baby comes. Sooooo, yesterday we got her a special little purse at the doller store and told her if she put her suckie in there and left it on the door, then the suckie fairy would come and take it for a new baby to have and in return leave her a big girl treat. She did it and seems pretty proud of herself. She didn't have that bad of a night. She didn't really cry for it, just took her a really long time to fall asleep and didn't sleep very well. We let her sleep with us but 2nite will try and put her back in her bed. Someone told me if you can get past the first 3-5 days of hell, it will be okay. Just don't take it away and then give it back. BE STRONG AND GOOD LUCK!

[deleted account]

Quoting Sandy:

thank you so much ladies! i have to be careful weening her off this thing, since she is a witty kid. I'm sure in no time she'll take the thumb in place of the pacifier. I know how difficult it is for a child to give that one up... I sucked my thumb until I was 11!!!!

I guess I'll keep it a bedtime thing and only if she's in her bed (not the playpen or car)... thanks again moms!!



I'm sure if you need to worry about the thumb thing. My daughter has never tried it instead of the sucky, but every child is different. Weening is working really well for her, but i just love that gift idea! Such a nice way to teach compassion to a child!

Rachael - posted on 02/13/2009

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My kids were all addicted to the Binky too! I have only recently managed to get them off it and the twins will be 4 in March!! But we talked to them about a binky fairy who came and took them away and gave them to children whos parents could afford to buy them but she always leaves the children who give up their binkys a pressy, it was good as it kinda taught them that there are kids out there who maynot be as well off as they are and they got rewarded for doing something kind we havent had any problems at all with them asking for it back as they know that it went to a child that needs them...i know 3 is really old to get rid of the binky but they had alot of changes going on in life so i kinda let it slide!! Binky fairy is the cousin of the tooth fairy too so it links in with knowing that tooth fairy likes their teeth straight and all that jazz!! hope it helps! Rachael x

Randi - posted on 02/13/2009

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When I thought my son was too old for his pacifier, I started connecting its use with "baby" things. When he wanted to do things that we considered were for a big boy, we'd re-enforce that babies who use a pacifier don't get to do big boy things. It only took about a week before he was willing to throw it away himself. Having your daughter take it away from herself will be a solid big girl thing and make her feel better about it.

Erin - posted on 02/13/2009

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Hi I read your post below. Did you do this for naptime as well? I've almost got my 14 month old daughter off the pacifier at night, but naptime, boy I am really nervous about.

Debora - posted on 02/12/2009

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Hi
Don't have that problem (yet) as my eldest never had any and my son's quite happy to leave it in his bed - I never gave him any other choice than to to keep the pacifier a bed thing. BUT, apart from wondering what could be causing the anxiety (if anything) and why she's so pacifier dependent, one of my daughters friends was set on a time schedule. She was allowed to have it at specific times and those were slowly brought down to only bed times but all in good time.

For the tooth decay, girls, cut the sugar and the crap food... get those teeth cleaned and the pacifier only after...

I would propose that rather than pressuring her into a "no pacifier mode" you encourage her. Make a table and each time she's "good" about that hole thing, stick a cool sticker. when she's got a certain number say 10 to begin with she can have a (small) special treat to encourage her. That kinda stuff does wonders for mine...

And what ever you do Good luck!!



Debi

Richelle - posted on 02/12/2009

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My son was the same way.  He was 3 years old before I finally figured out how to beat this thing.  I snipped the tip off of it.  At first he would stick it in his mouth and suck on it and then take it out and look at it, then he would simply stick  it in his pocket and carried it around for a while.  Finally, he got to the point that he did not want anything to do with it. 

Machaela - posted on 02/11/2009

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Well my son was the same way the only thing to do is take it away and let her cry..I know it sounds horriable but that was the ONLY way my son got rid of us. it took him 2 night of crying but after that he was over it and went on with things as usual.

Cassie - posted on 02/11/2009

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oh, yeah I feel your pain! my daughter will not stop sucking her thumb & it's become a constant battle in our house!



Honestly, because it's something that can be easily removed (compared to a thumb I mean!) I think you should just ditch it for good.  My mom tells the story of when I was little & had a pacifier problem. She said we went to visit family and they  "accidently" left it there. After that, it was over and they didn't replace it.



You child will certainly have a big fit over it being "lft" somewhere, but it won't last forever and I think if you just give them some extra attention and love during that time it will turn out all right.



Hope this helps! good luck!

Leanne - posted on 02/11/2009

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Hi,I had alot of trouble with my first son. I took him to the dentist and got the dentist to tell him no more...he thinks the dentist is the tooth fairy..my son developed a small overbite ..you cant notice it but the dentist told me if i continued with the pacifier it would become noticable and stoping them from having it younger will allow their gums to go back in place since they are baby teeth but if i would have left it then the overbite would be difficult to go back in place.....hope it helps:)

Carrie - posted on 02/11/2009

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My oldest son was "addicted" to his paci, so I started out by snipping a small hole in the nipple of it and snipped a little more off of it every day or two............he ended up saying "it's broke" and I told him to throw it away, so he did! I hope you will find something that works!

Ashley - posted on 02/11/2009

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Our son was almost 3 years when we took his binkie from him.  He would only use it at bedtime and nap time before then, and it was a pretty easy transition!  I'd definitely limit it to nap times and bed time now, and give her a few more months until you take it away completely!

User - posted on 02/11/2009

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I had the same problem with my daughter (now 3).  We started making it only for bedtime and naptime.  We then had a discussion about how she was getting too old for passy's.  When she turned 2, I decided that was enough.  Her teeth also stuck out from where the pacifier was (passy teeth).  We took them all away and and had her help us throw them in the trash.  We told her the trash man took them and they won't ever be back.  Anytime she went to sleep it was rough for a few days, but after about 3 days she got the idea and haven't had any problems since.

Tricia - posted on 02/11/2009

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Here's what we did and to our surprise, it worked.  My daughter started throwing away her diapers.  We'd change her and say, "yucky, throw it in the garbage."  She would and we'd clap.  Then one day I decided to try it with her nuk.  She threw it away we cheered and that was the last time she ever had one.  When she went to sleep that night, I threw them all out.  Worth a shot for you I guess!

Heather - posted on 02/11/2009

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With my oldest we did it cold turkey, she was 3 when we did it. It was tough for 2 nights then she forgot about it.

My youngest gave it up on her own. She chewed thru her last one and we did not give her any more

[deleted account]

Wow! So many takes on this issue... goes to show all kids truly are different. Well as an update to my Pacifier Addicted daughter I can now say we've passed step one without a hitch. She only has it for bedtime or naptime (if she's in her bed)... no more suckers for car rides or even if she wants to nap while we're away from home. Strictly for bed-use is the new policy. And it's been working.

Every morning she wakes up and tells me, "here mommy- tete (pacifier in spanish) feo (ugly)." and hands it over to me along with her teddy. We keep them both in her made-bed awaiting the next bed time.

I can't wait for the next step though- getting rid of this thing once and for all.

Thanks again Moms!!!

Jennifer - posted on 02/08/2009

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My son had a pacifier until he was 2, only for bed to, until I thought 2 is old enough, another friend said they planted theirs in the garden and I should try it, so we planted it in the garden together, it worked, had the best night sleep from then onwards, didn't have to get up anymore to find it.

Rebecca - posted on 02/08/2009

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Get a third party involved....our neighbor was baby-sitting our girls and told our oldest that she was too big for a pacifer and she should hand it over....she did without any question (but always threw a fit if me or my husband tried to take it away)

Kathy - posted on 02/08/2009

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Hi Sandy, I know this sounds really horrible but,to break our daughter of her pacifier addiction was to cut the nipple off and show her that it is now broken and that it has to be tossed. I read this in the "Parent" magazine and believe it or not , it WORKED. She cried of course but, not for long and she actually threw it in the trash and was fine there after and never asked for another one. Good Luck.

Tina - posted on 02/08/2009

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When my youngest was stuck on the pacifier my oldest (they are 3 years apart) decided to take things into her own hands and took all the pacifiers and lead the younger into the bathroom and told her it was time to get rid of them and then proceeded to flush them down the toilet.  They then came and told what they had done.  My first worry was the toilet backing up and then I secretly went to the store to get a back up cuz I didn't want her waking up in the middle of the night in a panic.  However, I never had to break out the back up.  While probably not a logical solution, it worked for us.

Tabitha - posted on 02/08/2009

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My daughter used to take a pacifier. She was completely partial to her purple one and refused any other pacifier we tried to give her.

We went on a long trip from Ohio to Kansas to visit family and while we were there my pain in the butt younger brother, who is 4, took it and lost it along with some of her rattles and things. Since they didn't feel like looking for it, or making him find it, she went without it. It was lost for about a week and a half before it finally resurfaced.

We tried to give it back to her, but to our surprise she wouldn't take it! We thought we'd just gotten lucky and she'd just been easy to give in.

However, recently I read an article on weaning your child off of things like bottles and pacifiers and it said that a great way to do it is to wait until you're taking a trip or getting something new in your home. Then you just simply "lose" it. The change in environment will help take her mind off her pacifier and keep her busy looking at and exploring something new.



I don't know if that helps in your situation at all. But if you're planning on visiting family/friends, getting a new pet, or taking a vacation anytime soon you might try it! It inadvertantly worked for us! :) Granted, you still might have to suffer through a few nights of tantrums and meltdowns. But it definitely made it easier, (and made us feel a little less mean), when we simply couldn't do anything about a lost binkie. It may reduce the temptation to cave in and give it to her because you feel bad. ;)



I hope this helps you! And if you do decide to try it let me know how it works out. I'm curious to see if it was just a fluke for us or if those baby book authors actually know what their talking about. Haha.



Tabbie

Amanda - posted on 02/08/2009

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My son is almost 3 and went through these tantrums for at least a year! So for a few months before xmas we said that his teddies had to stay in bed and rest during the day along with "lala" as they were all awake during the night looking after him and needed to rest during the day. He was still having a nap in the afternoon then so he was allowed then and bedtimes only, which was very difficult but we had to be strong & we stuck to it, using lots of distractions, changes of subject and we also just ignored the arguments and walked away (very difficult!) But now he leaves it in his bed in the morning and only gets it back at bedtime. We are hoping to bin it on his 3rd birthday, fingers crossed but knowing my luck it'll take another year before that happens! lol. Good luck and be strong. Amanda.

Coco - posted on 02/08/2009

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Have her trow them all in the trash and just hang in there... It took my daughter like 2 to 3 weeks of crying for it every night and every morning... I just kept telling her that she threw them away and there are no more pacifires... She will get over it... It take a lot of effort on your part to not break down and give in to her so she stops crying... I will pass... Good Luck

Estha - posted on 02/08/2009

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BTW, we went cold-turkey and the sign I'm referring to is from the farmer's almanac.

Estha - posted on 02/08/2009

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I weaned mine from the breast last year and just last week from the bottle in the sign of the Arms and it worked with little complaints and no problems.  The next time for this "sign" is Mar. 4 and 5.  Good Luck!!!

Sheila - posted on 02/08/2009

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I have 5 children and with the first 3 we had a struggle with this. With my last two I just talked to them and told them that they were too old for their pacifier and it was time to throw it away. Then together we said goodbye to it and they threw it away. They each asked about it only 1 time, and I just reminded them that we didn't need it anymore and that he/she threw it away. And that's all it took! Boy, do I wish I had done that with my first 3! They were all around 2.

Natalie - posted on 02/07/2009

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i have 4 chldren and all of them had dummys my eldest till she was 2 then due to me having another baby decided to pinch the babys she finally got rid of it after having a paddy and throwing out the back door my 2nd child refused to have one from the age of 8 months then my son who was 5yrs old in january was the hardest he refused point blank and the more i went on the more he wanted it so in the end i left him to it even tho the middle of his front teeth were decaying (but the dentist was fine) we teased him and the morning of his 5th birthday he got up put his dummy on the side and said im too old for that now the whole family and even friends didnt think he would stick it but still to this day he has and we took him to toys r us and asked him wot he wanted he chose the biggest iggle piggle he could find and used that as his comforter.....my point is dont worry bout the dummy they will part with it when they ready

Kim - posted on 02/07/2009

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My son had two pacifiers until he was nearly five yrs old. He understood that from a young age that its was for bed time only, if he needed it during the day he would have to stay in his bederoom (on his bed) until he was settle enough to come out to play. We waited until xmas and asked if he gave up is 2 pacifiers what would be the best xmas present from Santa to put n his santa sack. All he wanted was a large truck, so he put his 2 pacifiers in the santa sack the night santa arrived and santa did the swap. He was please with his new truck and never asked again for his pacifiers.

[deleted account]

thank you so much ladies! i have to be careful weening her off this thing, since she is a witty kid. I'm sure in no time she'll take the thumb in place of the pacifier. I know how difficult it is for a child to give that one up... I sucked my thumb until I was 11!!!!

I guess I'll keep it a bedtime thing and only if she's in her bed (not the playpen or car)... thanks again moms!!

Saige - posted on 02/07/2009

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Let your child help by saying " A tiny baby needs it now, so we can put it in a box and wrap it up as a gift to send to (enter random country). Let your child color the paper and wrap it up Do that, then trash the box when it's all said and done (with said binkie inside the box) and you can also offer a stuffed animal in replacment of that binkie. They will feel as if they "helped out" with the binkie gift.

Or you can just trash the binkie when your child is not loooking and say you cannot find it anywhere. My son was hooked on the binkie for too long, and as soon as I took it away completly, his teeth began reshapping normally. You don't want to wait too long. It can get painful for thr kids if it turns into a bad overbite by sucking on those and bottles. Good luck!! :)

Naomi - posted on 02/07/2009

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My first Daughter had a thing with dummies too. She would carry 3 around even to bed and when she lost it in the middle of the night, I would have to get up and find it. man o man. Any way we ended up saying to her that we were going to give it to, so that he could give it to another baby that needed a dummy.  It worked she said o.k and handed all 3 dummies to me. I nearly fell over and quickly put them out of sight. I had a good night sleep that night.



regards Naomi

[deleted account]

my youngest was addicted to her dummy. weaned it down to bedtime only and eventually she gave it to the easter fairy,who'd take it to father christmas to give another baby.(aka the dustbin) she was meant to give it to father christmas but couldnt quite manage it. unfortunatley ,after a couple of weeks without, a new child started at pre-school who sucks her thumb 24/7. so now l have that.nail biting solution helps,but she still does it at night or when shes very relaxed along with pulling her hair out after twiddling it into knots...l also showed her pictures of a person with buck teeth and asked her if she wanted to look like bugs bunny..that helps,not very pc but helps.a trip to the dentist with a heads up to the dentist before to make comments about teeth shape. good luck.

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