Samantha - posted on 09/07/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )
Tonight my husband told me something I had been trying to deny for a while; he no longer finds me physically attractive. He has been progressively more distant and less physical. No more little signs of affection like holding my hand or touching my face or putting his hand on my leg.
We got married march of this year, and I gave birth to our daughter Nevaeh exactly 4 months later.
We had only known eachother for a couple months before I found out I was pregnant and we got married when I had just turned 6 months.
Now we have been together for a year and things are so...different. he used to smile a special smile at me. .. haven't seen it for so long I've almost forgotten what it looks line. It used to be 3 days without sex was unthinkable. Now only 3 days is not too bad. I've tried everything I can think of. Read books like love and respect and his needs her needs. I tried to have sex more often, do things I know he likes. But it isn't getting better. In fact is getting worse. To the point he told me he no longer finds me attractive sexually. He used to say things like if the house was clean or dinner was on the table when he got home, then it would be better. Well? Done and done. No chanfe for the better. I'm a new mom, new wife, still quite young and going to college full time. Im not sure what to do. I love my husband. I would do anything for him. And I gave my weeks to him, my family and God on our wedding day and I intend to keep it. I guess I'm just afraid despite his verbal reassurances, he is going to look to have his needs filled elsewhere and leave us.
I put on some with Navi, trying to lose it and have a good stay but I'm not close to skinny again. He says if I put makeup on everyday and lost weight and was confident like a beautiful woman he wound be attractive. But how can I be "confident" when I know he is not attracted to me at all? When I see the girls he looks at whom I do not even slightly resemble. Heck, I even dyed my hair blonde because he likes blondes normally. I just do jot know what to do. I mean the last 3 things he told me, (clean house, dinner on the table, and blonde hair), didnt fix anything. Will makeup and continued weight loss? I just don't know any more. Im so confused and discouraged. Hurt doesnt even begin to cover it.