Help please

Motheo - posted on 11/19/2014 ( 9 moms have responded )

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I am a young lady aged 24 years. I have been dating a man for 2 years now, when we first met he told me he had a girlfriend and a child and that he wasn't happy where he was. We continued with our friendship up until in turned into a relationship. When our relationship got serious i asked him what he was planning to do about his girlfriend and he would always tell me that he was going to leave her. two years later he still hasn't left her and they are still staying together. i am now pregnant but he still wont decide if he wants to be with me or with her yet he is still staying with her. what do i do? my biggest fears are having to raise a child alone even though he has promised to do his part.

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Sarah - posted on 11/19/2014

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He has made his choice. He made that 2 yrs ago when he did not leave her. He wants his cake and to eat it too. He has told you by his actions his choice. He is staying with her. Now you have to decide if you want to be the girl on the side or if you want something better. You now have to make your choice.

Gena - posted on 11/19/2014

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You are scared of raising your child alone...how do you think his girlfriend and mother of his child will feel if he would leave her? She will be raising their child alone. Its very sad that men do such things like he is doing to his GF and you should have waited to get into a relationship with him. You should have said no,and wait till he breaks up. Have you ever thought what damage you and him have done to their family? Do you think a man like him will really love and take care of you? And how you would feel if he did the same to you? Its sad.

Guest - posted on 11/19/2014

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Leave him.
He promised the mother of his first child he would "do his part" too, and now you are asking him to break his promise to her so that he can keep a promise to you. My question is this--If he is willing to break his promise to the mother of his first child, why do you think he wouldn't do the same to you.

I don't understand why you chose to create a child with a man who is still with the mother of his child. It would make more sense to wait until after he left the other woman, then make your child together. If your biggest fear is having to raise a child alone, you might want to consider giving that child up for adoption because from what you've said, it looks very likely that you will be raising the child alone.

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Motheo - posted on 11/24/2014

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Thank you for all your advices. i do admit i made the mistake of believing his lies and continuing with the relationship even though i knew it was wrong and i learnt things the hard way. i just wanted advice on how to move forward with my life and raising the child alone seeing as adoption here in our country is not an option as is the US.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 11/19/2014

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You are the other women, who is pregnant with his child. What were you thinking? NEVER date someone that is in a relationship.

Now, you have a decision to make. Break up with him, and carry on your merry way with his baby....have an abortion.....or stay with him and have him find another girl to cheat on you BOTH with and get pregnant. Have fun with that.

Raye - posted on 11/19/2014

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I agree with Sarah, he already made his choice when he didn't leave his other girlfriend. I'm not sure what you mean by "when your relationship got serious" because, if it was serious to him he would be with you not her. He's liar and a cheat. If he did it to her, then chances are he would do it to you. So the question is really whether you want to raise the child alone from the start, or raise it alone when he tells you down the road that he's staying with her or that he's found someone else. You're better off getting out now.

Dove - posted on 11/19/2014

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That's what happens when you get involved w/ a man in a relationship.... Cut him off except where his child is concerned... or keep being the other woman.

Ev - posted on 11/19/2014

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I am not attacking you but I do agree with Gena and maybe you should have just moved on long ago. Getting into relationships with men who have another mate or wife or GF are just cheating when they take on another woman but do nothing after saying that they are unhappy and want to leave. That should have been a big red flag when this turned into more than friends.

Gena - posted on 11/19/2014

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Was this pregnancy planned? I think if he would really be unhappy with his girlfriend and love you so much,he would have left his girlfriend 2years ago. It sounds to me that he wont leave his girlfriend..but i hope his girlfriend finds out what a dick he is and gives him a kick in the ass and tells him to leave!

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