help please

Sharon - posted on 02/18/2015 ( 2 moms have responded )

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Hi
my 19 year old daughter thinks she can do as she pleases in our home. She works 1 day a week but could work more.
Because of her boyfriend she wont. She attends university and says she is to busy with that. the boyfriend is always hanging around and never seems to work and this is why she wont work.
She has lied non stop to us. she has a hearing problem and uses that and a sore back as her excuse but she is fine when the boyfriend is around. How can I handle this?

2 Comments

View replies by

Victoria - posted on 02/18/2015

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Remember if disapproval doesn't work, try encouragement. She's 19, she probably doesn't want mom right now, but a friend. Just talk to her and tell her that she's right, she's 19, this is her life, she's an adult and its time for you to let her make her own decisions, welcome her boyfriend and be polite, ask her hows university going, and how work is, ask what she wants to do, whats her dream job, whats her dream house, etc. Right now she needs encouragement, she's going to make mistakes, but all you can do is pick her up when she's down. Be proud of what she's doing right now, because its enough right now. Only she can change herself if she wants, not if others want. I'm 16 with a 3 month old baby, my husband is 17, and we were planning on getting married anyways, but not this soon or starting a family. She's growing like she should, and as long as its just her and she's not pregnant, let her have some freedom. You can't force her to do anything, trust that you taught her well and stand behind her on all you can, but again- the birth control shot lasts for 2 to 3 years. :D

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