Help please!

Christina - posted on 05/07/2015 ( 1 mom has responded )

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I am a step mom to an amazing set of twins, one boy and one girl. They have been through so much in their short 9 yrs. Their bio mother was addicted to drugs. Before we got custody of them their mother was emotionally abusive to the boy. She treated him horribly. She always favored the girl. Now I am very close to him. I love them both more then anything. Problem is now he is VERY attached to me. He want me by his side always. I'm not supposed to spend any time with my daughter. If I look at her he gets very upset and has breakdowns. It makes our family life complicated. Its like walking on egg shells everyday. I feel like its my fault as it only happens when I'm there. Its not fair to our daughter. I'm at my wits end and I don't have a clue how to help him. He always wants all my attention on him. He even gets upset if I talk to my husband. I just hope someone might have some advise for me and my family.

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Raye - posted on 05/08/2015

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You have to help him learn to be independent. He is obviously traumatized by what happened with his mother, and since you show him kindness he looks at everyone else as a threat to that relationship. He will have to learn to share you with your family. Explain to him that you can love him AND his father AND your daughter. Do not give in to his tantrums. Over time he will see that you are still there for him and still loving him. He may need counseling to help him get through some of his issues.

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