MommyBrittney - posted on 03/28/2015 ( no moms have responded yet )
Hi everyone, I am almost 4 months pregnant and have 2 amazing baby boys Armani 4 yrs old and Nico 1 yrs old. THEY ARE MY ENTIRE UNIVERSE. I love my boys SOOOOOOOOOO MUCH, It breaks my heart that my husband is divorcing me...but his mind is made and says he can't see us coming together again...we are in counseling (have only been to the first one so far) and I know I still love him...so this is extra hard for me right now...I'm just hurting a lot right now and can't stop crying...I feel overwhelmed right now and don't know what to do...I know I need to get a job (I have always worked as a freelance artist and graphic designer from home...but that is not consistent work...I only helped pay for things here and there)...I know I can get a good paying job...but with my pregnancy, and how young my two little ones are and HOW MUCH I love to homeschool them and BE with them I am devastated to leave them to work :'( He is now working at a huka bar with SO MANY sexy waitresses/drunk girls...and I feel SO INSECURE because I AM pregnant and KNOW I will only get rounder and more un-attractive to him :'( Just feeling so overwhelmed...I love our family, but the ball is in his court and idk what to do about my emotions right now...I KNOW I need to get a job...but I am crying all day long and feel like I'm emotionally not ready for that...but I know I HAVE TO BE. I do not wish to go into detail about our relationship (way to complex) but I do love him and always have. I just don't know what to do...I feel like he plays with my head so much still saying he loves me and he always will...and we're seeing a counselor...but he wants a divorce...he sleeps in the same bed as me...will even be affectionate and we'll end up sleeping together...but then its like a completely different person at random times when his mood changes and he wont want to even look at me and again say things regarding our seperation...that seem SO random, I won't event be talking or anything...idk just feel like sooooo much swirling inside of me and trying so SO hard to keep a smiley face on for my babies...I don't cry in front of them...