HELP! She's "scared" of the potty.

[deleted account] ( 6 moms have responded )

We have been working with my daughter for months with the potty training. She is with my fiance and I most of the time and with her dad 4 days a month. She was doing really well and got a bladder infection so it got postponed but after she got over that, she went to her dads and came back scared to use the potty. She was going number one just fine but she refuses to go number two on the potty. And this morning, she asked me for a diaper (I figured she had to poop and I don't want her to not poop), so I put one on her and she peed. I don't know what to do.

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 05/12/2014

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2014

Ok, stop getting defensive, Alyssa. You asked a question, Jodi provided advice. You negated the advice, and got immediately defensive.

Blunt answer? She may not be 'scared' per se, but may just not want to go on the toilet.

Regression in potty training is NOT uncommon, it actually occurs quite a bit, and the back and forth between homes is generally NOT that big a deal, especially as she's in your care for the majority of the time, so have YOU started expressing frustration that she's regressed (in her presence)? Because, if so, it could be that she's scared of making mommy mad!

You didn't indicate how old she is. Regression happens. It happens with kids from 'normal' homes where there's been no divorce. It happens with single parents, with engaged parents, with co-parenting exes, it has nothing to do with the time she spends at her dads, except that he seems to be the type that likes to let her play. Nothing wrong with that, especially as you only allow him 4 days a month with her.

Oh, and I'm pretty certain Jodi is more aware of what it's like to coparent with a toddler than you know... ;-)

[deleted account]

It also has a lot to do with me because it messes with her schedule. You obviously haven't had to deal with a toddler going back and forth from one house to another.

Jodi - posted on 05/12/2014

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You asked the question. Why ask if you know all the answers? So what if he doesn't work on her? 4 days a month makes very little difference. So what if all they do is watch cartoons and play on his phone? It has (1) nothing to do with the potty training and (2) nothing to do with you. You can't control what happens in the other parent's home. So focus on how you manage it in your home.

[deleted account]

I think it does. I don't think he works with her on it at all. Anytime I talk to him when he's got her over there, it's "stop talking to me, she wants to play on my phone some more." I'm almost 100% positive all they do is watch cartoons and play on his phone.

Jodi - posted on 05/11/2014

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Regression occasionally is pretty normal. Just keep persisting with her. It probably has nothing to do with her going to her dad's house.

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