help w/ determining due date

Andrea - posted on 10/19/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )

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At approximately 20 weeks, I found out I was pregnant. I rarely menstruate. I didn't have morning sickness, did not gain weight, etc. I was very tired, dizzy, and weak all the time. But, my husband I separated after 13 years of being together, and I was very stressed out all the time. Long story, but I had to suddenly find a place to live, deal with him telling everyone around us things that are not true (and so I lost ppl who I thought were friends) and other things. I also fell while moving my things and fractured my tailbone. Not to mention the loads of international travel for work and I manage a nonprofit with 20 employees. So, all that said, I was not noticing signs like fatigue as pregnancy. When my boobs (sorry) started to get really big in month 3, I took two tests but they came back negative. It was only when I felt like perhaps I had a kidney infection (pain in abdomen and going to the bathroom all the freaking time) that I had a sonogram and discovered I was 20 weeks pregnant with a little girl. I was in shock. Ironically, one issue my husband and I had that was serious was he doesn't want kids and wants to have a single lifestyle like he did when we were first together. I'm 33 and do not.

At this point, of course I am happy about the baby . The stress w/ my husband continues and he is demanding a paternity test, which is stressful but I'll do it now that I know it can be done non-invasively.

Here is my issue. Because of my lack of a regular (or any) cycle & late discovery of my pregnancy, I can not be sure when I'm really due. My OBGYN is guessing me at 24 weeks, but I could be further along (doubtful that I am less along unless I'm very, very less along). So, I don't really know how to gauge it. I have a history of pre-term labor in my family, I also have only gained 4 pounds at this point despite eating healthy and getting a good amount of exercise. I'm still stressed, scared of how to do this alone, and not sure how to proceed. But, mainly, I'm just trying to plan a little so that I can figure out how to best do all this for the baby.

Does anyone have any advise in better understanding how to know how to determine due dates? Or, do I just need to accept the uncertainty and deal with it?

Thank you so much in advance for reading this long and maybe less than linear email.

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Jodi - posted on 10/19/2013

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Unfortunately, there is no way to know for certain. If your ultrasound has indicated 20 weeks, then that's the best guess you are going to have. Basically, that means your due date is around 20 weeks from when you had that (probably give or take a couple of weeks).

In all honesty, a due date is only estimated anyway (hence it being EDD), so while you can plan a little, don't rely on your due date to be in any way accurate. This is something that you just need to stay in touch with your doctor about on a regular basis and continue to monitor the baby.

Janice, I am not sure how this sounds like a scam.....

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