Andrea - posted on 10/19/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )
At approximately 20 weeks, I found out I was pregnant. I rarely menstruate. I didn't have morning sickness, did not gain weight, etc. I was very tired, dizzy, and weak all the time. But, my husband I separated after 13 years of being together, and I was very stressed out all the time. Long story, but I had to suddenly find a place to live, deal with him telling everyone around us things that are not true (and so I lost ppl who I thought were friends) and other things. I also fell while moving my things and fractured my tailbone. Not to mention the loads of international travel for work and I manage a nonprofit with 20 employees. So, all that said, I was not noticing signs like fatigue as pregnancy. When my boobs (sorry) started to get really big in month 3, I took two tests but they came back negative. It was only when I felt like perhaps I had a kidney infection (pain in abdomen and going to the bathroom all the freaking time) that I had a sonogram and discovered I was 20 weeks pregnant with a little girl. I was in shock. Ironically, one issue my husband and I had that was serious was he doesn't want kids and wants to have a single lifestyle like he did when we were first together. I'm 33 and do not.
At this point, of course I am happy about the baby . The stress w/ my husband continues and he is demanding a paternity test, which is stressful but I'll do it now that I know it can be done non-invasively.
Here is my issue. Because of my lack of a regular (or any) cycle & late discovery of my pregnancy, I can not be sure when I'm really due. My OBGYN is guessing me at 24 weeks, but I could be further along (doubtful that I am less along unless I'm very, very less along). So, I don't really know how to gauge it. I have a history of pre-term labor in my family, I also have only gained 4 pounds at this point despite eating healthy and getting a good amount of exercise. I'm still stressed, scared of how to do this alone, and not sure how to proceed. But, mainly, I'm just trying to plan a little so that I can figure out how to best do all this for the baby.
Does anyone have any advise in better understanding how to know how to determine due dates? Or, do I just need to accept the uncertainty and deal with it?
Thank you so much in advance for reading this long and maybe less than linear email.