Help ! What will help make the BD to stop referring me to OUR children as my "real," name!?

Megan - posted on 07/08/2011 ( 8 moms have responded )

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BD is really intentionally trying to upset me this I know-

Its uncalled for and it hurts our very young children. The children (two) both tell their BD that their afraid to express their real feelings because of the punishment and it will make their BD get upset.

BD insists on telling the children (phone calls) "Is Megan around?" Then says my Middle name also ALL THE TIME! The children are hurt and sad over this. I just roll my eyes and let it blow...but when I see my oldest say I WANT him to stop! Please stop! Am I wrong for NOT wanting this?



When I talk about BD its always "dad," or "your father," thats it....:(

8 Comments

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Tamara - posted on 07/09/2011

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Im sorry, I was referring to talking with your children Not your ex.

Side note if you are getting upset by it could be part of the reason they are.

Megan - posted on 07/09/2011

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This man dont care..trust me he is heartless. SM listens to my conversations with my children. its really hopeless

Tamara - posted on 07/09/2011

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Have you tried explaining to them that that Is your name? and most people call you that and daddy isnt trying to hurt their feelings?

Megan - posted on 07/09/2011

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yes i know the children have let him know to S T O P.
We re going to court in one week so we ll see if my attrny can mention this small issue!

Megan - posted on 07/09/2011

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Yeah i know for sure I would never do this to him, it hurts especially the children!

Jodi - posted on 07/08/2011

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All I am going to say is that the children will get older and will figure it all out for themselves and make up their own minds. All (pretty much) kids go through a stage of calling their parents by their first names, they really do. Your ex is just pushing your buttons because he knows it upsets you. You can take the power back by not allowing your buttons to be pushed. That is the very best thing you can do for both yourself and your children. Let him carry on like he is - you have no control over his actions. Stop trying to. Just have control over how YOU act and react. Your children will thank you for it.

Tamara - posted on 07/08/2011

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I would see it as he is treating you with some a neutral feeling and possibly respect by calling you by your name.

I asked hubby and he said he may not feel comfortable using anything other then your name.

Maybe be glad he isn't referring you to "that b-word' or something like that.

Krista - posted on 07/08/2011

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There's nothing you CAN do to make him stop. What he's doing is not illegal -- just annoying and immature.

All you can do is talk to your kids and make sure that they feel comfortable coming to you when they are hurt by this.

Unfortunately, I've seen this many times before -- one parent acts like a jerk to the kids, and the other parent is there to wipe away the tears and pick up the pieces. It sucks. It seriously, seriously sucks. But maybe with time, if you and your kids can learn to not give him any reaction to his immature behaviour, he'll get over himself and stop being such a douche.

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