Angela - posted on 12/16/2013 ( 4 moms have responded )
Hi.I am new to the board but could use a little advice.I have an 8year old daughter and her father has never been on her birth certificate.This was because he didn't want to be responsible for child support.I left him when she was about 3 1/2. She has always resided with me.We have never went to court for custody/visitation.I do NOT want to keep her from him.I think that is wrong.We always agreed that he would have one day a week and every other weekend.its been like that for about five years.I left because of verbal abuse and we didn't get along.I have been trying to have a decent relationship with him for the sake of our daughter.but for the past year or so he wants her more often and on "my" days etc.He drops her off at my home between 5-530 amwhen he has her overnight for work.lets her stay up very late.has no rules at his home and even lets her (at 8 yrs old) sleep in his bed! I have told him that I find this inappropriate.he claims I am being small minded! despite that I have never stopped visits.However, he just picked her up from school without telling me or getting my consent! refused to return her all weekend or let me know where she was.when I finally called the cops they said they can do nothing about it! I was shocked! I am her mom.hes not even on a single piece of paperwork! however, I believe I need to go to family court.I would just like some imput as to what I should expect? can I lose her to him? does he have a good chance of taking custody?we live in new York if that helps. I do NOT want to lose my child so I am kind of panicked as to whether or not should I file.but I am tired of him pushing me around to always get what he wants and not caring about my plans or my time with her.So any advice would be greatly appreciated.and if I file should I stop visits until court?? Thank you.sorry it was so long.