Stacey - posted on 09/03/2013 ( no moms have responded yet )
My husband and I recently went through a very rough year with his parents. His sister has made a series of horrible choices ranging from the people she dates and is friends with (convicts and drug dealers... the boyfriend is currently in prison for trying to sell drugs and illegal guns to an undercover cop >> his third offense) to the activities that she takes part in. She brought my 1 year old to a bar to show him off to his friends. She has had people waiting in her parents ditch (whom she lived with up until about 2 months ago) to kill her with guns in hand. She has brought them to one of her bar buddies houses to go swimming... a person my husband had very clearly stated he didn't want our child around.
We had a very strict policy that has been in effect for about the past 5 years that our children were not allowed to leave with her. She could visit with them at the parents house but that was it. Even that was a very thin line for us. About a year ago my 5 year told me about all the places that he and his 3 year old brother went with the sister. This included the boyfriend's (who is in prison) mother's house that is about 45 minutes out of town, friends houses, her apartment. He gave me details that I wouldn't have known, but had confirmed with several others afterwards to in fact be absolute truth.
We were furious. We limited their visitation with the grandparents, but after about 2 months let them go and stay the night again. That very same the MIL let the boys go off with the sister again. After that, the boys were not allowed to go to their house again. We had a huge fight in which my MIL told us that our son was making up stories and then would turn the conversation around and say that they were the only reason that the sister was still alive. She was caught in every single lie that she had ever told, most of which her husband didn't know about, and couldn't remember what stories they had told us and which ones they hadn't. It was a horrible day. And turned into an even worse year. The sister had already been arrested for a DWI in which she almost hit several people who called in her license plate and then totaled her car. About a month after "the meeting" she was arrested for cocaine possession. We later found out that the grandparents had found cocaine in her car, apartment and clothes on 3 separate occasions and still let the boys go with her.
After we cut ties, they called frequently yelling and cussing at my husband or they called crying and sobbing. They called and did the same to family members who were able to visit with the boys, including my parents. My husband and I have both clearly stated our feelings to them on the matter and very plainly stated, with no room for misinterpretation, the restrictions that are now in place. We both feel that they have gotten more chances than they deserve and have moved past the whole mess to get on with our lives.
My son just started school again and I need to write a letter about the unauthorized release to the grandparents. Any suggestions?