Help with mine verse yours

Jennifer - posted on 02/08/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )

2

0

0

k mother of two with a boyfriend with one ages are 10 3 and 6 !!!! His gets away with everything!!! we have game systems like Wii and two ds things lol now the Wii was bought for the my two for xmas and I said someting about it and about get another game system so the all can play and I was blown up on casue I said that the wii was my twos and I feel it was wrong of him please help let me know what you think??? :-(

3 Comments

View replies by

Sarah - posted on 02/08/2012

1,258

14

164

Personally I don't think you're doing much to foster a relationship with your boyfriend and his child. If you want to create a family with this man, you have to realize that families share. You are making it okay for your kids to be selfish with their things. Gosh, my kids have their own toys, but when other kids come over they are expected to share. That is part of fostering a compassionate and generous individual. Your also setting up hard feelings between your children and his child and making his feel like a 3rd class citizen. I think you need to encourage them to share and if you can't, then rethink being with someone that has kids so you can make everything about your own.

Kay - posted on 02/08/2012

377

19

111

Maybe we are just weird, but there is no mine versus hours in our house.



When it comes to our gaming systems, they belong to us as a family, and everyone shares. We also have invested in several pretty cool multi player games that they can all enjoy together. We try not to interfere when they set up how to determine who goes next--sometimes it is a turn-taking set up but for other games they seem to prefer a winner versus next set up. As long as they are respectful towards each other, we let it go.



Honestly, I feel like when you start defining things like that, you are only alienating the other children. Our house is only a part-time home for my future stepdaughters, but it is still their home. It has been a big help that my family is supportive--they always seem to keep in mind when making big purchases that all the kids will be using it.



Good luck. It is definitely not easy to manage a blended family, but you will figure it out. :)

Caitlin - posted on 02/08/2012

1,915

5

172

Do you live together? If you do there should be consistent rules in the house that are respected by both parents of the kids no matter which parent they come from. If there is a debate about who gets to playt witht the Wii, set up a schedule.. one hour it is them, the next it is your kids. If you live together, it's kind of fair game, but not fair that they get it all the time, it should be shared. If he "blows up" at you for enforcing rules and making sure your kids gets treated fairly as well, maybe you should think about the long term sustainability of a relationship where the other person does not respect you or your kids or feel that they should be treated failry. After all, they are a part of the "family" too and YOU need to advocate for them.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms