help with my difficult child?

Allison - posted on 02/25/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )




I'm having issues with my six almost seven year old. these arent all of a sudden issues but they arent that old. i guess they arent severe enough apparently for professionals to take seriously. On one hand my son is a very spoiled little boy. this i know and part of it is his grandma. she coddles him and when i do something she doesnt like its me over reacting and him just being a little boy that is until he does it to her. and then she may over react, or she may not but heres the thing the punishment whether light or severe never has a long term effect on his behavior.

I've taken him to our pediatrician who revered us to a child psycologist who said hes just acting out try dealing with it this way. the basis for him saying this is not a big deal is the fact that he only acts this badly with me and my parents no one else. to everyone else he seems like an angel.

I dont believe in the whole hes just expressing himself sort of thing. i've done the whole distract and use your words when he starts getting violent. it doesnt work. i've grounded him. i've done time outs i've spanked. i'll tell him time and time again to knock it off nicely or dont do that nicely so he does it again. i'm really at the end of my rope. my child has my hair falling out in clumps. hes mean to his brother just because he can be. the dr says to just keep trying and to keep my temper but i cant anymore.

the worst part is its usually over little things like chores that this happens. i keep asking him to do his chores and to do them right and yes he knows how, so he doesnt and then gets crazy and throws tantrums when hes asked to do his stuff or is told to do it again because he knows he did badly. he thows stuff around trying to break it as if it will do more than just make me mad. i know hes pushing trying to feel out the boundries but i really cant take much more with out going far beyond over board.

He wasnt like this until he was about 4 1/2. he started preschool and all of a sudden the hitting and the tantrums started. he was bullied. he still gets bullied. the school wont do anything because they dont witness it. a third grader beat him up on the bus. the school talked to the kids parents and that is it. my son is now in a different school but he still gets bullied and they wont do anything. i know this has alot to do with his issues but i'm just at the end of my rope the psycologist wasnt of any help, according to him its not my son its me with the problems. i'm willing to meet him half way and say its both of us. but my son needs something i apparently cant give him.


User - posted on 02/25/2012




Stress such as being bullied can really affect a child's behaviour at home. When you say the school won't do anything, what have you tried? Have you spoken to his teache ror the principal? You need to keep pushing for action to be taken if you're not happy with how things are being dealt with.

At home have you tried a more positive approach? Maybe set up a reward system whereby he gets stickers for when he does his chores and when he has gained a certain number of stickers he gets a reward.


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Michelle - posted on 02/25/2012




I would go back to your doctor and ask to be referred to someone else preferably a pediatric psychiatrist as they are the ones who are trained to deal with issues in small children. If your son has something he will be able to diagnose it properly.

Allison - posted on 02/25/2012




yeah we've tried rewards at home and that works for about two hours. I've tried talking to the counclers at both schools his teacher is doing everything she can, i'm lucky enough that she is a neighbor and a friend, but the principal keeps with the if we dont witness we cant do anything. i've gone to the assistant super intendent with my issue and he says they are doing all they can.

i know to a point i may be over reacting, and i know he exagerates but when a room mother tells me hes picked on by most of the kids his friends included and some of his real friends come and tell me right after school that this this and that happened and i call the school and they say oh we cant do anything unless we witness it other wise its he said she said blah blah blah. I'm just upset about it. i know thats part of his at home problems especially with his brother. i just dont understand why the people in the seats to help dont.

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