Help with my Willful 5 year old who has extreme fits an has started hittin me when I say no to her.

Jessica - posted on 11/14/2012 ( 5 moms have responded )

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OK Ladies I need some advise I have a Daughter who will be 5 thanksgiving day..... An shes a Willful Child The problem I'm having is that When I tell her NO when she wants something she can't have she throws a fit an Im talking Screaming yelling Hitting me... Ive tried time outs taking things from her... I'm to the point I've started reading books to try an help me do something about this!.... any an all the advise you can give me would be so helpful!!... cause I'm at the point of I don't know what to do anymore!... Thanks ladies hope to hear something back really soon!!!

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FoxyMom - posted on 11/14/2012

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I learned with my child that sometimes you ahve to step back and look at the situation. When she has a fit do you give in to get her to stop? You have have a willful child and have a respectful one. She may sense you are intimidated by her. Without knowing your character it's hard to say but some people are just more timid than others. Just remember that giving in equals reward for the behavior. you many also want to talk with a doctor to see if she may have some sort of mental disability just to rule it out. I would hate to punish a child that had no control over a hiccup in their brain.



Just look at the situation, are you following through with your threats, are you giving in, Make sure no means no. When she has fits do you ignore her or try to coddle her and get her to hush? Eventually you will find something that works and clicks with her.

Jessica - posted on 11/14/2012

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I'm hoping some other moms are helpful also!... But You were helpful too!!! Oh I know I never Break down an cry in front of her I am always behind closed doors!!.. even if I have to go hide in the bathroom to do it!!.... :) Thank you so much again!!.. I'm new to this site an already its awesome!...

Michelle - posted on 11/14/2012

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Her reactions to you sounds very familiar. I'm hoping some other moms have better insight for you!! I'll be here for sympathy! Oh, and when I do spank Jack, I hold it together until I close the door behind me, then I bawl like a baby for a few minutes. That's okay. Just don't let her see you crack when you punish her. Easier said than done, I know!!

Jessica - posted on 11/14/2012

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Thank you... I've Tired throwing a bigger fit than she does also but It makes her scream louder!.. I've tried Spanking also an its so hard for me to punish her... It makes me want to cry with her once I do punish her. She went through this when she was younger also but I was able to fix it with taking things from her an time-outs. When she started Pre-K this year she she was good the first day didn't cry when I left her there... But the next day oh boy I had my hands full she cried so much an when I got her out of the van to walk her in she latched onto the van an I had to pry her off.. an that lasted about a month an she was good... but then The fits came back an hitting me an trying to be the boss of me.... an all of that... an nothing I do seems to be breaking her from this.... but before she started school she loved to go an spend the night or nights with my dad an stepmother there would be times when she refused to come home.... an she would jump at any opportunity to go to there house..... but since she started school She refuses to stay the night anywhere she states "but mommy I'm going to miss you too much if I stay the night" I know its because she started school an now shes starting to be away from me alot.... But It would be nice to have a day to myself every once in a while lol.. Her Father has never really been in her life hes in an out when he feels like he wants too... so since he couldnt stick to every other weekend visits I've stopped him from getting her because its not fair to her plus because hes never been there for her she really didnt want to go with him EVER still to this day if I was to let him get her she would cry an say mommy please dont make me go... so I dont make her go anymore... His mother Is still in her life she goes an sees her whenever she wants too but the bad thing is he can know Isabella is at his mothers an he will not even make a point to go see her. so I'm not sure If all this stems off of her starting school an him not being in her life but I'm to my breaking point by now... there are days when I feel like just running away an crying. Because to me it feels like Im not parenting right because she is to the point of hitting me an thinking its ok too. an the one thing I've never wanted my child to do is think its ok to hit me... an shes there its just so Frustrating!!... But I'm glad ive found this site because it is nice to vent an get advise an just get stuff off of your chest!.. so Thank you for taking the time to listen to me!. I'm a young mother an a single one also so Its hard for me to talk to my mother about the problems I'm having because she will get frustrated with me very easy :) plus we butt-heads alot because we are so much alike.

Michelle - posted on 11/14/2012

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I'm so sorry you're going through this. I'm not one to really give you much advice... I have a 5 year old boy who is having major behavior problems at school. He gets in trouble almost every day and yesterday and today, the bus driver has sent him to the principal's office for not keeping his hands to himself.

Each day, when Jack gets home from school, we go in a room (separate from the other kids) and talk about his school day. He typically ends up crying hysterically. I'm not sure whether this is an avoidance tactic or if he's truly that emotional, but it's so hard to punish him.

In smaller issues (as in normal kid tantrums- not school related) my husband and I typically use humor with our punishments. We are not really the yelling type and I've read that when you make a joke about it, the kids typically think about what just happened. If she begins throwing a fit, throw a bigger one.

As far as the bigger things, we've done everything from spanking to time outs to "reflection time".

I'm sorry I'm not much help, but if anything, hopefully I can encourage you that you're not alone!!!!

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