help with special needs step daughter and her mom

Deb - posted on 02/20/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )

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Recently married with new step daughter.she was adopted from foster care after being taken from parents born addicted to cocaine and herion.she has sigficant problems.until our marrige my husband only saw her a few hours on sunday for only "fun " time.we both need to be involved with her more.adoptive mom has her and is almost neglectful.now mom is fighting our involvement and making life miserable..any ideas?

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Deb - posted on 02/20/2013

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Mom is clinically depressed. Sleeps 18 hrs a day.kids have free reign of house.basically no rules no bedtime little structure.no help with homework no encouragement of any kind.no clean clothes / hair when we pick up child.mom has been lying about school grades.says A/Bstudent.not true failing all special needs classes.we are now making appts with all teachersand councilors. There is currently a therapist that mom and daughter see.no info on that

Dove - posted on 02/20/2013

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How is she neglectful and does he have good, solid proof of neglect? If so... he can take it to court and see what happens. If not.... have him try working with her on this. Perhaps mediation and/or counseling could help them learn to co-parent.

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