helping kids be friends with children who have ADHD

Minna - posted on 01/30/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )

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My 14 yr old got in a fistfight with a child who has ADHD, amoung other problems . . I know that this child is having a hard time because I have talked to the Principal .Apparently this child is striking out because he's getting picked on. . 8th grade boys are brutal. These guys are always insulting each other. This child tries to joins in but doesn't understand boundries[yeah, I know I don't get them either]. As mothers,what do parents of ADHD kids want other moms to tell their kids about your child's situation. I know every kid is different but I thought maybe someone could give me some general tips about whether going into the reasons for child's behavior [hitting,biting, etc]. will cause more exclusion. He tends to be avoided by my son and the other kids. I can't ask mom, she's basically withdrawn for the other moms[won't return calls ] Can I help short of telling him to ignore this kid totally? Please help. This is the reason I joined this group. I've told my son not to retaliate next time, but he's not exactly sensitive.thanks.

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Minna - posted on 01/30/2012

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Thanks for replying, Michelle. I only wish my son was more tolerant. I'm all for a friendship, and his mother and I have planned activities for them in when they were small. It wasn't great, but as long as one of us were there to intercede, it worked on some level. I think his mom had hopes for their friendship, and that's why she's so hurt . I'm disappointed in my kid because although he doesn't have a full explanation , he can see that this boy is having trouble .. Thanks, Minna

Michelle - posted on 01/30/2012

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As you said all kids are different my son has severe ADHD but we medicate so for the most part he won't seem any different than your child. I would explain to your son though this boys actions are not acceptable behavior their is a reason behind his behavior. Basically most children with ADHD lack impulse control so they truly need to be taught that it isn't ok to hit and bite and such. If your son is up for a challenge he can try befriending this child he may find one on one the kid is ok. Once the kid has a friend his behavior may get better. These children just want to fit in and don't understand why one comment is ok and not another everything is black and white I don't know if this helps you any.

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