Dorothy - posted on 07/17/2011 ( 2 moms have responded )
My son recently turned 13 and until recently I thought his lack of wherewithal was tied to laziness. I'm now suspecting anxiety may be the culprit. Either way, my question remains:
If anxiety is suspected, do you believe gentle coaxing is helpful to have the child overcome their fears or could it actually be hindering his ability to make judgements/decisions?
Whether it be organized sports, asking a friend over, or going to the neighborhood pool, my son never wants to do these things on his own OR comes up with a million reasons why it is not a good idea (no one will want to come over, or he won't get a good team, or he won't have anyone to play with at the pool). I usually encourage him despite his protests and insist he do whatever it is anyway. And he always ends up having a good time.
In the end though, time passes and another opportunity presents itself and its the same ordeal. Should I continue coaxing him and encouraging him to do what he thinks may end badly or leave him be? His way of thinking is foreign to me; the last thing I want is to make him more anxious or force him into something he does not want to do…but at the same time I am concerned with the negativity that surrounds his thought process and feel it is my duty to show him there is nothing to be afraid of. Any thoughts?