Here is another question that is coming to mind. Yesterday a girl in Patrick's class told me that some kids in class are starting to practice french kissing. What age is more appropriate? As 9 isn't in my book

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Amber - posted on 11/07/2008

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Hey ladies.. if you don't talk to your kids about it... statistically, they do it. Right now.. they say the age for kids to start having sex is 12. So even though we don't like it... french kissing at 9 doesn't seem that far off and we need to prepare our kids with an answer ahead of time, before the opportunity arises. Talk to your son about it... and tell him what your family values are... you don't have to get graphic... but you do have to be honest.. and ready to answer anything... Dr. Dobson offers great advice about this stuff.

Cheryl - posted on 11/07/2008

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I would attempt the gross factor . . . Do a little experiment. Have him lick a piece of bread and stick it in a little disposable plastic container with a lid and leave it for over a week. Come back and show him the mold growth on it and tell him that the mouth has alot of bacteria in it . . . does he want the bacteria/germs of someone else making him get sick? French Kissing is a means of spreading germs and although he may be curious about it, is he ready for the other results of his curiousity? Talk to him about oral herpes: a disease infecting 40% of our youth by the time they hit puberty. Show him pictures of it online by searching images of oral herpes on Google. Utilizing the gross factor may help hold him at bay for a bit longer, he might even share the information with his friends . . .Luckily my 10 yr old daughter and 9 year old son think that kissing and holding hands and even liking someone else is still GROSS!!!! Finally, since it seems to be a class issue, maybe discuss it with the teacher about having a health professional come in and talk about oral diseases. Simply scary stuff.

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Sarah - posted on 04/17/2012

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i was nearly 11 when i had my first kiss, tho that was after seeing a tv film with kissing in and me and three friends who were girls acted out the kissing scene, which was between a man and woman. My first kiss with a boy was a couple of weeks later. lookin back maybe too young

Sherri - posted on 07/13/2010

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I would be reporting it to the school. My kids didn't even know what sex was at 12 when I sat them down and explained it to them. I would be horrified to know kids where doing this in the 3rd grade. A friend of my sons taught him an very inappropriate sexual word in 3rd grade and I reported it to the school. They handled it and contacted his parents. I don't want my children exposed to that type of thing in anyway shape or form and it is the schools responsibility to take care of such unexceptable behavior but only if they are notified of it can they handle it.

Luz - posted on 07/13/2010

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Kids are curious about everything and that is just another curiosity. Do tell the teacher was going on. This has to be the idea on an older child. Just be very careful when you tell the teacher and tell her to keep it confidential. You don't want the other kids thinking your son has a big mouth. Do try to gross him out.

Carole - posted on 11/10/2008

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Well I guess when you think that you are teaching your kids the importance about life you are wrong. Man when will my teaching them the right thing to do and the wrong thing not to do ever going to stop. It seems that neither will take the responsibility of who initiated the kissing. Patrick says it isn't him and the girl says it isn't her.

I explained to both that they are WAY to young to do that and that even her 12 year old sister is too young to engage into that.

I suppose that I have like another 9 years of this for Patrick before I'm no longer responsible for the things he'll do and then another 12 for Michel. By then it will no longer fall on me!

Alice - posted on 11/08/2008

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I agree with Cheryl--try the gross factor. A friend of mine tried that with her 10-year-old and it worked. And yes, if they are actually doing it at school, get the teacher involved.

Michelle - posted on 11/08/2008

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It is a scary world out there. there is never any easy way to talk to your kids about things of this nature. As the mom of a 16 year boy..I give you this advice. Be open for any conversation. What as always worked for me even now is randomly bringing up topics while in the car or dragging him food shopping with me. I remember back when my son was about the same age as yours, sitting on the couch reading "the tween book" When he finally got the right answers he was able to make the right decisions. That knot in your stomach will never go away but it worth talking about. Good luck

Tracey - posted on 11/08/2008

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my daughter is 9 also, i would b horrified if she came home n told me that. at her school they wanted 2 teach them sex education wen she was 7. shouldnt it b our choice wot our children should know and at wot age. is there anyway u could talk 2 his teacher. we cant stop certain topics our kids talk about but atleast the teacher wil b aware. good luck

Carole - posted on 11/08/2008

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I really appreciate all the feedback because this will be a challenge. Maybe the school knows about it all and that is why there was a sheet that came home yesterday to us parents about workshops that will be going on soon on various topics. We have to choose 3 out of the 12 mentioned. There are two I would like to know about but need a third one so I still have time to choose another one as this as to be return on the 25 of November.

Amber - posted on 11/07/2008

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Where are the grownups - AKA - teachers when this is happening at school? Just another reason I home school. My daughter is 8 and a half and kissing of any type doesn't even come up with her. I am very thankful for this. I totally agree with the poster who said to PRAY PRAY PRAY :) She has asked me about kissing and I have always told her you save that for when you are married.

Jessie - posted on 11/07/2008

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I came home in kindergarden and told my mom I knew what french kissing was! Her response was "Show me." So, I took her face in both my little hands and gave her a big kiss, moving my head side to side, all the time my mouth SHUT! She thought it was hillarious, but worried that this was being discussed in kindergarden (1988). I never kissed a boy, mouth open or closed until I was a freshman in high school. So, whatever mom told me, I certainly can't remember, must have worked!

Mary - posted on 11/07/2008

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Um no 9 is not the appropriate age. I would say that someone should have a talk with these kids and see exactly what is going on and let them know that it isn't appropriate behavior until they are old enough to know what any of that stuff is.

[deleted account]

Oh no!! If that's the case, the teen pregnancy will only increase! I didn't begin "french kissing" until I was 13 or 14!

Lara - posted on 11/07/2008

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I know that "kids these days" are doing things FAR younger than I ever did. I remember girls havin' boyfriends in fifth grade. (That was 1988 or so, I think.) But practicing french kissin at nine I think is ridiculous. I'm sure I'd have to let the school know. I think middle school, or early highschool, is surely more appropriate than nine! :/ Good luck!!

Carole - posted on 11/07/2008

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I did speak to him about it and asked him what french kissing was and he only told me that it was done open mouth. I asked him if he had done that already and he said only once with one girl who is also 9 years old this past summer. He told me it was her idea. They both liked each other at the time. So now I know that he has tried it and really don't know what it involves and I also did ask him if he has done so with the girl he likes and he said no. He's too shy to be that forward. I also told him that he should wait till he is a bit older for that and when he will be in a relationship with the girl and not just the odd girl who wants to just experiment.

I'm glad to know that he doesn't know that it involves the tongue. LOL!

Beth - posted on 11/07/2008

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Oh my goodness, 9 is NO WHERE NEAR OKAY. What you need to find out is if they are just talking about it, kids have a tendency to talk about things that they (thankfully) do not know about. However, saying that, nine years old is an age that should be protected, as the CHILDREN that they are. Kids are put into situations that force them to grow up, way to fast. You may want to schedule a time to speak,(privately) to the teacher, there are sometimes so many kids in a class, that they don't know what is going on. I would also PRAY, PRAY, PRAY, and PRAY some more - you can never pray too much for someone, especially children.

Lexann - posted on 11/07/2008

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Our society is pushing kids more and more to early sexual interest, and this is just the first step. I believe 9 is much too young for this sort of interest to come about naturally. Sounds like peer pressure. You should talk to your son about kissing being only for someone you really love. And I agree with Cheryl, the gross-out factor (especially at that age) would be a big deterrent, too.

Carole - posted on 11/07/2008

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I'll have to bring my courage to do so. Of course I could leave it up to his dad to ask him that question too. All I know is at 9 I wasn't thinking of kissing boys, I was more interested in keeping my friends.

Manda - posted on 11/07/2008

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Wow. I believe that it certainly depends on the individual, as we all develop at different rates, but 9 is much, much too young in my book. That is quite appalling! I too was 12, but looking back that seems very young as well. I definitely think it is time for you to have a talk with him. He should understand the severity of something like this and how it can affect relationships ("friendships," shall we say, in this case). It's never too early to talk to your kids and I think you would feel much better if you knew exactly where you stand on the issue. Good luck.

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Oh My!!! My daughter is only 16 months old but this is scary. When I was young I believe the age was about 11 to 12. Now is down to 9. I think I may have to lock her in her room LOL..
But seriously, I think maybe you should talk to your boy and explain that kissing is something that we with someone we truly love, and that maybe he should wait a little bit until he can really choose which girl he wants to kiss or something like this!

Carole - posted on 11/07/2008

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I did ask Patrick if it was true and he said yes. Of course I'm afraid to ask him if he has because of fear that he may say that he has. So Now I'm hoping that if he is thinking that he will choose that he is too young for that right now. He does have a little girl in his class that he is interested in and she is also. I'm sure the girl's mom would think too.

Leslie - posted on 11/07/2008

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That honestly makes me want to cry. They are just babies. They should not be kissing at all at that age! How about waiting until they are ready to committ to a serious relationship. That will not be for several more years. Good luck.

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